[0.0s] previously on Dumbgeons and Dragons.
[2.0s] You've been wandering for about a day.
[4.0s] You find yourself at the edge of the Misty Forest about nightfall.
[8.0s] Thaddeus is with you, and he suggests that maybe we should camp here for the night.
[13.0s] Thaddeus, where are the grungs?
[15.0s] He pulls off his backpack and pulls out a long steel cylinder.
[21.0s] And on it, in very Grancis-like writing, it says,
[25.0s] Grungs, good for six months.
[28.0s] And he opens it up, and you look inside, and there's their entire civilization.
[33.0s] I thought, being that you guys are going into what could be a hairy situation,
[37.0s] maybe I'd tag along.
[39.0s] Sounds like a pretty good plan.
[40.0s] Why'd you guys have a falling out?
[42.0s] We were on another job.
[43.0s] It wasn't looking good.
[47.0s] And his haste miscast a spell, and it instead targeted our team.
[56.0s] I was the only one that survived.
[58.0s] Some smoke comes off of the fire, and you hear an eerie...
[67.0s] You know how ghosts sometimes get locked to things?
[70.0s] Yeah, I'm pretty sure I'm locked to the grungs.
[73.0s] Don't tell Thaddeus that.
[76.0s] I think he really needs to be with you guys.
[78.0s] So you guys start trekking into the Misty Forest.
[83.0s] You travel for a few hours, and you come to a small settlement.
[87.0s] And everybody sees a second level to this settlement.
[93.0s] It looks like this settlement has been abandoned.
[95.0s] You hear a growl come from behind you.
[99.0s] From behind it, come through the trees, a bellowing gruff voice.
[104.0s] Boska! Boska, come back!
[106.0s] There you guys are!
[107.0s] Hey, Delaine!
[110.0s] They also report that there is a settlement, Altent, that is still standing.
[114.0s] So you've been traveling for most of the morning now,
[117.0s] and you get the sense that something's been following you.
[122.0s] Show yourselves.
[123.0s] And you see slowly coming up small antlers.
[128.0s] And then what looks like a human face.
[131.0s] Big smiling, two of them.
[133.0s] And they say, Hi!
[136.0s] Welcome to Dumbgeons and Dragons.
[138.0s] We are the fifth... Nope.
[140.0s] We are a fifth edition actual play podcast.
[143.0s] I am your dungeon master, Russ More.
[146.0s] And with me today is a whole bunch of people.
[148.0s] But we're starting with Carla Johnson.
[150.0s] Oh, boy. Oh, I'm first.
[152.0s] Hey, I'm Carla. I play Nulara Moonbrook.
[156.0s] Also with me today is Amy More.
[159.0s] Oh, boy.
[161.0s] You're second.
[162.0s] That's how we're starting.
[164.0s] Well, you kicked it off.
[167.0s] I am Amy More and I play Thea Amastasia, a druid elf.
[172.0s] And Tom Laird.
[174.0s] Yeah, that's me.
[175.0s] I play a champion dwarf fighter named Flint Firebeard.
[180.0s] And also with us today, some special guests from the American Gods cast.
[185.0s] And I probably should ask them how to pronounce their last names before we started doing this.
[189.0s] But I'm just going to wing it and see if I get it right.
[192.0s] Kyle Grichelle.
[193.0s] There we go.
[195.0s] That's me. Hello.
[196.0s] And Michael Cederblom.
[198.0s] Yes, that's me. I'm here too.
[201.0s] Welcome, guys.
[202.0s] Thank you for being here.
[204.0s] Thanks for having us.
[205.0s] Thanks for having us.
[206.0s] You know, we don't have a lot of guests on.
[207.0s] So this is our awkward interview segment.
[210.0s] You guys run a podcast yourself.
[212.0s] And we've we've kind of launched, I think, around the same time.
[215.0s] So we've kind of kept in talks around then.
[218.0s] And you wanted to be on our podcast for a long time.
[221.0s] I was like, yeah, yeah, soon, soon, soon.
[223.0s] And now finally, a long time after, we're making it happen.
[227.0s] Yeah, we made it work.
[228.0s] Yeah, I think we started right around when you guys did maybe a little after.
[233.0s] But, yeah, we've we do things to Kyle.
[238.0s] What do we do?
[239.0s] We talk about TV, movies, a lot of Netflix stuff.
[243.0s] Our last episode is not Netflix.
[246.0s] It's actually on Amazon.
[248.0s] We did the was it the big sick?
[250.0s] Yep. Yeah.
[251.0s] So most of the time we have people vote and so we can help have them help choose what we review.
[256.0s] But obviously, we're centered around American Gods, which only shows for a short period of time during the year.
[261.0s] Yeah, that's us. Yep.
[263.0s] That's that's about it.
[264.0s] Nice. Well, it sounds like an awesome show.
[266.0s] We I'm sorry.
[268.0s] We haven't watched American Gods.
[270.0s] I keep meaning to.
[272.0s] I watched the big sick with Carla.
[273.0s] Does that count?
[274.0s] That does count.
[275.0s] I fell asleep real early.
[278.0s] I think we've all read American Gods.
[280.0s] Maybe I'm maybe I'm full of it.
[282.0s] I definitely have read it like a million times.
[284.0s] I have also read it.
[285.0s] Yeah. And I I I'm so excited for the show that I want to wait till I can like.
[292.0s] Watch it for real, like really take it in.
[295.0s] Not falling asleep, watching it, which is why I haven't watched it, even though it's going to be my favorite show, I'm sure.
[300.0s] I think that means we've all read it.
[302.0s] But Kyle, yep, I have not read it.
[304.0s] I don't I don't read it.
[306.0s] Oh, perfect.
[307.0s] Good company.
[308.0s] You have Canterbury Tales on your bedside table.
[311.0s] I read books.
[312.0s] I just haven't read that book.
[314.0s] Because I'm trying to develop my character for the Patreon thing, man.
[317.0s] OK, but Canterbury Tales is an odd choice.
[321.0s] He does homework.
[322.0s] He cares so much more.
[325.0s] It's it's got all that like poetry and prose and like all that sort of stuff.
[330.0s] So I'm just I'm just looking for just inspiration.
[332.0s] You know how it is.
[334.0s] I'm just going to show him.
[335.0s] You better bring it next time we record our Patreon episode.
[338.0s] I'll show you.
[339.0s] Next next time our Patreon episode is just an hour and a half of me reading Canterbury Tales.
[345.0s] Worst episode ever.
[349.0s] I don't know why we lost all of our patrons.
[352.0s] Yeah, totally.
[353.0s] Yeah, let's just jump right into the game.
[356.0s] Fuck it.
[357.0s] Let's play D&D.
[360.0s] We're all waiting with bated breath.
[363.0s] I was waiting for the beat to drop, right?
[365.0s] That's how it works.
[366.0s] I don't think so.
[367.0s] Oh, OK.
[369.0s] So our adventurers, Flint, Thea, and Nulara are in the misty forest making their way to the Elven City.
[378.0s] The city of Altand.
[383.0s] And on the way, they've left the path, which Delaine Winterhound told them that they would probably be doing.
[389.0s] But they've been followed for a little while by a couple interesting characters.
[395.0s] And they come face to face with...
[399.0s] We're short, hairy little kind of small elves.
[404.0s] You know, like little pathetic looking centaurs, essentially.
[409.0s] You're really underselling yourselves, guys.
[412.0s] I'm sure you're adorable.
[414.0s] Time to get into character voice.
[418.0s] Oh, hello.
[419.0s] I'm a little tiny hypso.
[421.0s] I'm waving at you guys.
[423.0s] Thea waves back enthusiastically.
[425.0s] Hello, look at you.
[428.0s] Hi.
[430.0s] What are you guys doing here?
[431.0s] Well, we're on our way to Altand.
[436.0s] Who are you?
[437.0s] What's your name?
[439.0s] Oh, my name is...
[442.0s] Let's go with Will.
[444.0s] And you can call me Kelp.
[446.0s] Sorry, Kelp?
[448.0s] Kelp? No, no, no P. Just Kelp.
[452.0s] Oh, Kelp. OK.
[454.0s] That's OK.
[455.0s] Well, that's good, because otherwise some sort of great whale would come along and eat you.
[458.0s] Oh, I don't see many whales around here, but you know.
[461.0s] Magical forest.
[463.0s] We're kind of following you a little bit.
[464.0s] What are you guys doing around here?
[466.0s] We're trying to figure out what's going on with these dragon attacks in this forest.
[471.0s] Oh, yeah, dragons.
[473.0s] We've seen some of those around here.
[476.0s] Just a couple, though.
[479.0s] What kind of dragons have you seen?
[482.0s] I think it was...
[483.0s] Was it a green one?
[485.0s] Yeah, he looked like a mean old bastard.
[489.0s] We saw him kind of rolling through some elves, you know, tearing up the place.
[496.0s] It looked like a mess.
[497.0s] We tried to get out as quick as we can.
[499.0s] The elves didn't look too well.
[501.0s] They had a bad day.
[503.0s] They had some little guys following them also.
[505.0s] They were not too nice either.
[508.0s] Those must have been the cultists.
[511.0s] Yeah, that must have been them.
[513.0s] They were running around.
[514.0s] They had these black cloaks on.
[516.0s] They had some little symbols on them.
[518.0s] They looked like flames with eyes and dragon claws.
[523.0s] It was a mess.
[524.0s] We tried to get out as quick as we can.
[526.0s] We got hit a little bit, but as you can tell with a little will with his little bald spot in his head,
[535.0s] we burned off all the hair on my face.
[537.0s] Oh my god, I can't even imagine.
[540.0s] That wound's deep.
[542.0s] Almost skin deep.
[544.0s] Because Flint stroked his beard like, shh, shh.
[547.0s] That's what I was just thinking.
[548.0s] Flint's just like reverently stroking his own beard, just horrified at this thought.
[554.0s] Oh my god.
[555.0s] It's gonna be okay.
[557.0s] What village did you come from?
[559.0s] Where did you see the green dragon last?
[562.0s] We don't really know the place.
[564.0s] We could probably get you there.
[568.0s] I think we know how to get you there,
[571.0s] but we have some problems of our own that we're heavily occupied right now.
[578.0s] Maybe if you could do us a favor, maybe we could get you there.
[583.0s] What kind of problems are you having?
[586.0s] Oh, problems with some people.
[589.0s] We want to go back to the fae, but we can't.
[594.0s] There's this mean old, do we call her?
[597.0s] She's kind of a bitch.
[599.0s] Let's be real.
[600.0s] A little bit.
[601.0s] Her name is Avon.
[603.0s] She's not a nice person, but we've kind of made her shit list,
[609.0s] and we just want to go home.
[611.0s] We want to go back to our old tribe, going back to our little shenanigans,
[617.0s] but we can't really do that with a dragon on one side
[619.0s] and Avon just kind of plugging the door up.
[622.0s] Maybe if you could get rid of that problem,
[624.0s] we could send you on your way.
[627.0s] Well, we are in the business of helping people,
[631.0s] but I can't help but ask,
[633.0s] what did you do to this Avon that got you kicked out of the fae?
[637.0s] She wants people to pay her to go through and from the fae,
[644.0s] and we didn't, a couple times.
[647.0s] And we may have gone on the offensive a couple times.
[654.0s] Yeah, we tried to kill her.
[657.0s] Didn't work.
[658.0s] She deserves it though, so it's okay.
[661.0s] And what is she?
[663.0s] Is she a human?
[664.0s] Is she fae?
[666.0s] Oh, no, no, no.
[667.0s] She's not a human.
[668.0s] She's a sea tail.
[670.0s] She's a little person, but damn does she...
[674.0s] She's ferocious.
[675.0s] She's mean.
[676.0s] But you look like a nice, I don't know, hearty group of travelers
[681.0s] that could really get this thorn out of our sides
[684.0s] and you guys can just go on your way.
[686.0s] Much stronger than the last group.
[688.0s] What happened to the last group?
[689.0s] You've tried this before?
[690.0s] Yeah.
[691.0s] That's not comforting.
[693.0s] What last group?
[694.0s] No, they is apprehensive.
[695.0s] You look much stronger than before.
[697.0s] Yeah.
[698.0s] Man, they were a little squishy.
[700.0s] So what has this Aven done that she deserves to be killed?
[707.0s] Sorry, we're not necessarily hit men.
[711.0s] Oh, no, no.
[712.0s] You're not hitting anyone.
[714.0s] You're just erasing a problem that has been there for a very long time.
[718.0s] She just likes to suck the magic out of you.
[722.0s] When you pay your toll, it's not money.
[725.0s] It's not goods.
[726.0s] It's actually a part of you.
[728.0s] You'd be helping all the creatures of the fey, not just us.
[732.0s] And it would just really help if she was gone
[735.0s] because then we could travel back and forth.
[738.0s] It would be just a much happier place.
[741.0s] Every fey could travel back and forth without repercussion,
[746.0s] consequence, or any sort of barrier person stopping them?
[751.0s] Yes, yes.
[753.0s] We could do that, but she closed all the other doors
[756.0s] except one, and that is the one where she sits in front of
[760.0s] and reaps the benefits from it.
[763.0s] So if you could get rid of that problem,
[766.0s] we could maybe help you guys.
[768.0s] I don't know, Nularaaaia, you're pretty good in a forest.
[771.0s] Probably get us to Alten, couldn't you?
[773.0s] I certainly could track our way to Alten.
[777.0s] That's where we're trying to get to.
[780.0s] Maybe the three of us, the four of us,
[784.0s] we still have another guy with us.
[786.0s] Anyway, maybe the four of us,
[794.0s] maybe give us a minute, Will and Kel,
[797.0s] and let us discuss amongst ourselves
[799.0s] if we want to help you with this problem.
[802.0s] All right, go ahead, take your time.
[804.0s] We'll be here waiting.
[807.0s] So guys, this sounds suspicious.
[811.0s] How to lap in front of them, we're like...
[813.0s] Well, no.
[814.0s] In a little group.
[816.0s] We mosey over a little way so they can't hear us so much, yeah?
[821.0s] Seems like a bad idea, right?
[824.0s] I don't have a good feeling about it.
[827.0s] Being a fey creature myself,
[831.0s] they are tricksy creatures.
[835.0s] There's something else going on.
[837.0s] I feel like there's something they're not telling us.
[840.0s] It definitely seems that way.
[843.0s] Thea, what do you know about sea turtles?
[848.0s] What is that?
[850.0s] How dangerous is it?
[852.0s] What do we know?
[854.0s] I actually have no idea.
[857.0s] I have never been to the fey.
[859.0s] I don't...
[861.0s] Well, sea turtles, Thaddeus pipes up.
[864.0s] He says, sea turtles,
[867.0s] they were a long ago fey creature.
[869.0s] From what I understand is there's not a lot of them left around,
[873.0s] but what they do is they,
[877.0s] as Will and Kel here have described,
[881.0s] is they suck the magic out of creatures and out of existence.
[888.0s] And they absorb it in themselves.
[891.0s] To do what with?
[893.0s] To have.
[894.0s] It's an addiction of sorts.
[896.0s] So are they inherently evil?
[899.0s] It's uncertain,
[901.0s] but if they're stopping creatures from going back and forth
[905.0s] through what is supposed to be an open portal for these fey creatures...
[909.0s] Oh, it's supposed to be an open portal.
[911.0s] Yeah.
[912.0s] Ah, I was under the impression that there was a gatekeeper for a reason.
[916.0s] Oh, no, no.
[918.0s] The fey is supposed to be,
[920.0s] if you find a passageway from the fey to the material plane,
[925.0s] it's supposed to be just an open source.
[928.0s] So it sounds like kind of a mob boss situation happening.
[933.0s] It sounds like some sort of energy vampire has staked it out.
[937.0s] Ha, staked it out.
[939.0s] Ah, ah, ah.
[942.0s] I knew you'd do that there.
[944.0s] Knowing that, I think we should help them.
[947.0s] At least go and talk
[949.0s] and just see if we can reason with whatever creature this is.
[952.0s] Well, I don't want to fight a dragon
[954.0s] if there's a chance that some creature could come
[957.0s] and suck Thea's magical life force from her.
[961.0s] We kind of, we need that.
[963.0s] Yeah, because we don't need that magic.
[965.0s] We need that magic, so...
[967.0s] Plus, these guys are cute little scamps, hey?
[969.0s] They, you know, yeah.
[971.0s] They're definitely tricking us though,
[973.0s] but they're cute as heck.
[975.0s] Maybe we can sweeten the deal a little bit.
[977.0s] All they have to do is bring us to a place.
[979.0s] We are risking life and limb
[982.0s] to get them passageway back home.
[985.0s] I don't even know that we need them to lead us to a place.
[988.0s] Yeah, I don't know either, but I do know.
[991.0s] Delaney basically told us how to get there, I think.
[994.0s] Their antlers have magical properties,
[997.0s] and I wouldn't mind getting my hands on some of that
[1000.0s] that good sweet antler shed.
[1003.0s] Yeah, I...
[1005.0s] A couple spells that could be really useful for.
[1009.0s] So just to clarify, shed antlers, you don't want them.
[1013.0s] We don't want to get out a saw,
[1015.0s] because I feel like they might have a problem with that.
[1017.0s] Yeah, no, I want to jump on one of their backs
[1019.0s] and just start, like, just hack sawing away.
[1023.0s] This is cool, right, you guys?
[1025.0s] No.
[1027.0s] No.
[1029.0s] She just pulls really hard on the antlers.
[1031.0s] Totally.
[1033.0s] I mean, I'm happy to ask for something in exchange.
[1039.0s] We don't need them to lead us anywhere,
[1041.0s] but we might need the help of creatures from the fey
[1045.0s] to fight the dragon caulder, to fight Tiamat.
[1047.0s] It seems like the more allies we can have right now,
[1053.0s] the better.
[1055.0s] We're fighting some real big bats.
[1057.0s] I agree.
[1059.0s] Okay, so let's give them the good news.
[1065.0s] We walk back over, I suppose.
[1067.0s] Well, I guess I look at everyone else
[1069.0s] and make sure they're nodding, I would just say.
[1071.0s] Yes, the nodding has happened.
[1073.0s] So we'll tell them yes, and I walk away.
[1075.0s] Thaddeus just has a grumpy face and is just like,
[1077.0s] nope.
[1079.0s] Is that resting grump face?
[1081.0s] Thaddeus, I'm fine, I'm fine.
[1083.0s] Just his normal resting grump face, then.
[1087.0s] Okay.
[1089.0s] RGF.
[1093.0s] Okay.
[1095.0s] We'll help you.
[1097.0s] Oh, that is great news.
[1099.0s] How far will we have to travel
[1101.0s] before we get where we're going?
[1103.0s] Oh, it's not too far.
[1105.0s] What's the best way to fight one of these things?
[1109.0s] Good stab.
[1111.0s] That always works.
[1113.0s] Do you have swords?
[1115.0s] Swords work.
[1117.0s] I've got an axe.
[1119.0s] I heard axes are really good.
[1121.0s] The last guy had an axe he didn't do too well.
[1123.0s] No, you should be fine.
[1125.0s] You're a little beefier than him.
[1127.0s] It'll go great.
[1129.0s] Do you want to give us any details
[1131.0s] on this last group that helped you?
[1133.0s] Anything at all?
[1135.0s] Oh, there's nothing worth talking about.
[1137.0s] They didn't do well, though.
[1139.0s] Whatever they did didn't work.
[1141.0s] So they're definitely all dead, then.
[1143.0s] Oh, yeah. 100%.
[1145.0s] Great. Just wanted to make sure.
[1147.0s] Were they human or magical creatures?
[1149.0s] What was their downfall?
[1153.0s] Aven just hit harder than they hit.
[1155.0s] Okay.
[1157.0s] It didn't work.
[1159.0s] I think their mistake was running straight at them.
[1161.0s] Them?
[1163.0s] Or maybe when they ran away.
[1165.0s] It might have been when they crawled away
[1167.0s] and they were crying and they were like,
[1169.0s] please stop.
[1171.0s] Don't do that.
[1173.0s] You guys aren't very good at asking for help, are you?
[1175.0s] No, no, no.
[1177.0s] This is our sales pitch.
[1179.0s] We are expert salesmen.
[1181.0s] We've got this.
[1183.0s] I will not take the extended warranty, thank you very much.
[1185.0s] Never do.
[1187.0s] That's never a real thing.
[1189.0s] Okay.
[1191.0s] This is sounding like a worse and worse idea all the time.
[1193.0s] Sure does.
[1195.0s] No, we'll help you.
[1197.0s] Would you be willing to make a little bit of a trade?
[1199.0s] Well,
[1201.0s] what do you have in mind?
[1203.0s] Well, your freedom to your homeland.
[1205.0s] Oh, you have a deal.
[1207.0s] Any chance I could get my hands on
[1209.0s] one of your shed antlers?
[1211.0s] I might have
[1213.0s] one or two of those lying around.
[1215.0s] Maybe three.
[1217.0s] I only need one, but
[1219.0s] good to know.
[1221.0s] I only have one.
[1223.0s] Oh, and also if you could advocate for the rest of the
[1225.0s] Fae to come help us fight Tiamat, that'd be great too.
[1227.0s] Hey, sign on the dotted line.
[1229.0s] Oh yeah, that'd be great. We could sneak that in there.
[1231.0s] Yeah, we could say something.
[1233.0s] We'll try.
[1235.0s] So, is this a deal?
[1237.0s] Are we working?
[1239.0s] I walk forward and they have hands, right?
[1241.0s] I extend a hand to shake on it.
[1243.0s] I extend a fist.
[1245.0s] This is making me so uncomfortable.
[1247.0s] You never make a deal with a creature of the Fae.
[1249.0s] This is Carla speaking.
[1251.0s] No, I feel the same way.
[1253.0s] I feel like we're about to get
[1255.0s] over royally, but... I've read enough fantasy novels.
[1257.0s] This is a very bad idea.
[1259.0s] Let's do it.
[1261.0s] I guess Kel will extend a hand also.
[1263.0s] Maybe? Yes.
[1265.0s] That is a very weak handshake,
[1267.0s] but it's coming out there.
[1269.0s] Okay. I cringe a little bit,
[1271.0s] like, ugh.
[1273.0s] I told you, we need your help. We're not too strong.
[1275.0s] But we're there when it matters.
[1277.0s] We'll remember that.
[1279.0s] We've got your back.
[1281.0s] Take us to her.
[1283.0s] So you guys all agree
[1285.0s] on the task at hand,
[1287.0s] obviously, with great...
[1289.0s] Murder!
[1291.0s] Murder!
[1293.0s] God, how many times do we have to murder people for other people?
[1295.0s] Thaddeus is bringing up the rear and he's like,
[1297.0s] Talk it out!
[1299.0s] Talk it out!
[1301.0s] It sounded a lot more like Grancis,
[1303.0s] the longer he's around.
[1305.0s] It drifts in and out.
[1307.0s] I don't know what's happening.
[1309.0s] Is Grancis starting to possess Thaddeus?
[1311.0s] He's super duper.
[1313.0s] Kel and Will,
[1315.0s] they lead you through
[1317.0s] not the direction you were going,
[1319.0s] they take you, like, about face
[1321.0s] and through into
[1323.0s] the deeper forest.
[1325.0s] You travel for
[1327.0s] what seems like about an hour,
[1329.0s] maybe a little bit more,
[1331.0s] and the scenery
[1333.0s] around you
[1335.0s] begins to
[1337.0s] shift a little bit.
[1339.0s] The trees look
[1341.0s] a little more lush
[1343.0s] and larger.
[1345.0s] And
[1347.0s] you see
[1349.0s] the longer you walk,
[1351.0s] kind of, colors become brighter.
[1353.0s] And you feel
[1355.0s] as though
[1357.0s] you begin seeing color
[1359.0s] in the air itself.
[1361.0s] Ooh,
[1363.0s] what are we smoking?
[1365.0s] The stuff I'm on
[1367.0s] doesn't produce these results.
[1369.0s] Those that know the
[1371.0s] fae know that
[1373.0s] as you get nearer to,
[1375.0s] the fae wild
[1377.0s] is nature
[1379.0s] and magic combined.
[1381.0s] So everything
[1383.0s] is a reflection of
[1385.0s] the material
[1387.0s] plane. Everything is
[1389.0s] much brighter in the fae.
[1391.0s] Thea feels really
[1393.0s] good here. Does this still count
[1395.0s] as forest, or like how does this
[1399.0s] are my
[1401.0s] I don't know what the equivalent of Spidey
[1403.0s] senses are. My Woodchuck senses?
[1405.0s] Are they
[1407.0s] my Brown Bird senses?
[1409.0s] Are they, like
[1411.0s] is this still
[1413.0s] because I must obviously notice
[1415.0s] I'm attuned to the forest
[1417.0s] that this is a different place.
[1419.0s] But you still feel like you're in the forest.
[1421.0s] You don't feel like you've entirely crossed
[1423.0s] over into the
[1425.0s] fae wild yet.
[1427.0s] But as you get closer to the portal,
[1429.0s] Will and Kel would be able to tell you
[1431.0s] that this is
[1433.0s] normal, essentially.
[1435.0s] Yep, this is normal.
[1439.0s] Sounds like it's normal, guys.
[1441.0s] This just means we're getting close.
[1443.0s] Everybody make
[1445.0s] a perception check.
[1447.0s] Oh my god, we have to roll
[1449.0s] something. I roll really
[1451.0s] well. This is gonna
[1453.0s] be great, you guys.
[1455.0s] I did not.
[1457.0s] Ugh. Oops.
[1459.0s] I did not either, but I have
[1461.0s] advantage if I'm in the
[1463.0s] in my
[1465.0s] space still. So in that
[1467.0s] case, I rolled a 24.
[1469.0s] I rolled a 2, but I have
[1471.0s] an 8 as a bonus.
[1473.0s] That's like a whopping 10.
[1475.0s] 8 bonus is good, though. You're so
[1477.0s] perceptive. I'm so fucking perceptive.
[1479.0s] Guys, what did you get?
[1481.0s] 10. 16.
[1483.0s] 9. So Flint, Thea, and
[1485.0s] Kel, everybody's walking
[1487.0s] along, and you three are kind of clustered
[1489.0s] together, and you are snapped
[1491.0s] up into
[1493.0s] a big snare rope trap.
[1495.0s] So you are now suspended
[1497.0s] from the trees.
[1499.0s] Oh shit.
[1501.0s] This isn't good.
[1503.0s] It's a trap.
[1505.0s] Thanks, Admiral
[1507.0s] Lackbar. This is real time, right?
[1513.0s] Little help here, guys.
[1515.0s] Little help here. Are they
[1517.0s] up in a net, kind of
[1519.0s] classic forest trap style?
[1521.0s] Classic forest
[1523.0s] trap. Okay, so net with all
[1525.0s] three of us, not just by the ankles
[1527.0s] dangling.
[1529.0s] Oh, well that's no
[1531.0s] problem. How high up is the net?
[1533.0s] You're about 25 feet up.
[1535.0s] Well, that's, you know, high.
[1537.0s] Kel is nude, correct?
[1539.0s] Because I'm a wooden
[1541.0s] critter.
[1543.0s] He's naked, yes? Did you say nude?
[1545.0s] Yeah, yeah. Okay.
[1547.0s] Be careful.
[1551.0s] Do you like dangly bits just like
[1553.0s] poking at the... Of course.
[1555.0s] It's like when you're climbing up the little
[1557.0s] rope ladders, and then like your hand
[1559.0s] misses, but, you know.
[1563.0s] Okay, Thea's uncomfortable. Thea takes
[1565.0s] it. Will, grab on, please.
[1569.0s] It's my leg.
[1571.0s] Come on.
[1573.0s] Do you want to say antler?
[1575.0s] Okay, well Thea
[1577.0s] feels real stupid right now because
[1579.0s] she used to have daggers,
[1581.0s] but metal
[1583.0s] offends me now, apparently.
[1585.0s] And so I just have
[1587.0s] a scimitar,
[1589.0s] which...
[1591.0s] Oh, now I have daggers.
[1593.0s] You dropped your daggers.
[1595.0s] You were supposed to erase them, you dropped them.
[1597.0s] Yeah, you
[1599.0s] hated them. I have a scimitar.
[1601.0s] Do I have enough room in there to take
[1603.0s] my scimitar out and start hacking away
[1605.0s] at the... I'm assuming it's kind of a tight
[1607.0s] fit, like elbows and like
[1609.0s] cheek to jowl type situation.
[1611.0s] Yeah, I mean you could probably do
[1613.0s] that. Okay. I take out my
[1615.0s] scimitar and I start to saw
[1617.0s] at the side
[1619.0s] of the net, not the bottom.
[1621.0s] Well, Thaddeus and I just are watching
[1623.0s] from the ground.
[1625.0s] That's not what's happening right now.
[1627.0s] Thaddeus is loving this.
[1631.0s] He's like, I could... He whispers
[1633.0s] to Nularaaaia, he's like, I could help him, but I just
[1635.0s] want to see what happens.
[1637.0s] I'm curious too. Did you notice the small
[1639.0s] creatures are naked?
[1641.0s] That one seems
[1643.0s] really concerned. I mean, I knew
[1645.0s] Thea would try and make a move at some point,
[1647.0s] but I didn't
[1649.0s] know it would be... She would
[1651.0s] intentionally push them into a net
[1653.0s] to do it. At this point,
[1655.0s] Kelv really starts kicking around. He's getting real
[1657.0s] nervous real quick.
[1659.0s] Thea saws faster at the net.
[1661.0s] Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[1663.0s] It's a little more frantic.
[1665.0s] Roll Dexterity check.
[1667.0s] Oh, baby.
[1669.0s] That
[1671.0s] is 20.
[1673.0s] Whoa.
[1675.0s] Yeah, you definitely...
[1677.0s] with the
[1679.0s] skill of someone
[1681.0s] trying not to touch a naked
[1683.0s] hibsel,
[1685.0s] open up the side of the net.
[1687.0s] I gingerly kind of
[1689.0s] swing myself
[1691.0s] out, and it's only 25 feet, right?
[1693.0s] It is 25 feet.
[1695.0s] So I kind of rope.
[1697.0s] You're in trees too,
[1699.0s] so there would be
[1701.0s] vines and stuff that you could reach and
[1703.0s] scale down.
[1705.0s] I reach and skittle.
[1707.0s] I said scale. You can skittle.
[1709.0s] Taste the rainbow.
[1711.0s] I'd like to skittle down
[1713.0s] this tree, please. Do I need to make
[1715.0s] an acrobatics or athletics
[1717.0s] check?
[1719.0s] No, I'll let you skittle. Thanks.
[1721.0s] I say, come on, guys. It's not that bad.
[1723.0s] Might be a little more difficult
[1725.0s] for some of you, but...
[1727.0s] Or I could
[1729.0s] find the anchor rope and
[1731.0s] let you down gingerly.
[1733.0s] Oh, no, no. I'll try to get out.
[1735.0s] It's okay. Do the hibsels
[1737.0s] have little hooves?
[1739.0s] I believe, yeah. Don't we have hooves,
[1741.0s] but we have hands? Yeah, you've got
[1743.0s] a set of four hooves, and you have hands
[1745.0s] because you're a human
[1747.0s] antelope centaur type creature.
[1749.0s] There we go. Humalope. I guess
[1751.0s] I'll climb out, but get my antlers
[1753.0s] stuck in about every loop possible on the way
[1755.0s] out.
[1757.0s] So we're waiting on the ground for like
[1759.0s] 20 minutes? Yeah, as you are trying
[1761.0s] to release yourself,
[1763.0s] you hear very heavy
[1765.0s] footsteps, and it
[1767.0s] sounds like two sets of them are
[1769.0s] coming your way.
[1771.0s] That's probably not good.
[1773.0s] You should get down
[1775.0s] now. I'm trying.
[1777.0s] And boogie.
[1779.0s] Make a dexterity check.
[1781.0s] 24.
[1783.0s] Yeah, you managed to
[1785.0s] sneak your antlers through
[1787.0s] and bounce off of
[1789.0s] the nearest tree and
[1791.0s] skittle down as well.
[1793.0s] Because he's dexterous and all get out.
[1795.0s] Yeah.
[1797.0s] Flint, you're the only one still left up
[1799.0s] there. Oh, I forgot I was in there.
[1801.0s] He's like, ah, I'm just going to
[1803.0s] stay here you guys. I was wondering, like Flint's just
[1805.0s] hanging out. I'm good up here.
[1807.0s] Yeah, I climb down and
[1809.0s] make my way with all the vines and tree branches and
[1811.0s] whatnot.
[1813.0s] So you skittle.
[1815.0s] You skittle as well. In other words.
[1817.0s] If the word skittle
[1819.0s] isn't in the episode title,
[1821.0s] I might be a little upset.
[1823.0s] Skittled in the forest.
[1825.0s] I'll figure it out. As Flint
[1827.0s] is nearing the ground,
[1829.0s] the footsteps sound like they're
[1831.0s] coming from a brush just behind where
[1833.0s] your location is. And there's
[1835.0s] rustling in the brush as
[1837.0s] whatever it is is coming
[1839.0s] nearer to you.
[1841.0s] Hello?
[1843.0s] Like, Kel's going to try to back up
[1845.0s] and go stealth, hide,
[1847.0s] whatever. Yep.
[1849.0s] All right. Want me to roll for it?
[1851.0s] No, no, you've got natural.
[1855.0s] Yeah, you've got natural stealth and hide.
[1857.0s] So you're both doing that?
[1859.0s] Yeah, I want to hide too.
[1861.0s] Yeah, so the four of
[1863.0s] you, Flint, Thea, Nularaaaa, and Thaddeus,
[1865.0s] you're watching the brush and then you turn
[1867.0s] around and both Kel and Will seemingly
[1869.0s] have disappeared. Oh, nice,
[1871.0s] guys. Nice.
[1873.0s] Um, and through the brush
[1875.0s] with thick,
[1877.0s] heavy footsteps crushing ground
[1879.0s] beneath them come
[1881.0s] two small
[1883.0s] old man elf creatures
[1885.0s] with very bright red
[1887.0s] hats. And on their back
[1889.0s] are sickles.
[1891.0s] And they, ooh,
[1893.0s] tripped our trap.
[1895.0s] There was something over, oh.
[1897.0s] Oh, goodness.
[1899.0s] Did you guys trip our trap?
[1901.0s] I'm sorry, sir, we tripped your trap.
[1903.0s] Sorry about that. Oh, well, you've got
[1905.0s] to come with us then. Boss says
[1907.0s] whoever trips the trap has to come say
[1909.0s] hi.
[1911.0s] Who's the boss?
[1913.0s] Is it Angela? Is it Tony?
[1915.0s] Who is it?
[1917.0s] It's Samantha. It's Mona.
[1919.0s] Who is it? Anyway,
[1921.0s] sorry. Who's your
[1923.0s] boss? It definitely wasn't Jonathan.
[1925.0s] I'll tell you that much. Certainly not.
[1927.0s] Couple jokes just think they're funny.
[1929.0s] Okay, you want to go see the boss? Let's
[1931.0s] go see the boss then. And they pull their
[1933.0s] sickles out and they start
[1935.0s] kind of corralling you
[1937.0s] in the direction that you were going.
[1939.0s] Sorry, are they elves or elf
[1941.0s] type creatures? Oh, I'm going to give you
[1943.0s] a picture here. Don't. Oh, can you give
[1945.0s] me a picture there? Don't you!
[1947.0s] I'm picturing a garden gnome because
[1949.0s] you said they're little and they have sickles and they have
[1951.0s] little red hats. Ooh, is it a red
[1953.0s] cap, Russ? That's what I'm picturing. Yeah, we're
[1955.0s] right. We're right, Carla. We're right.
[1957.0s] It is a red cap, yeah. Yeah, it's for sure
[1959.0s] a creepy-ass garden gnome.
[1961.0s] So they start
[1963.0s] corralling you with their
[1965.0s] sharp pointy sickles.
[1967.0s] Wow, I
[1969.0s] certainly hope that
[1971.0s] we aren't alone in
[1973.0s] this journey. I say kind
[1975.0s] of loud and pointedly.
[1977.0s] It's like you're talking
[1979.0s] to the trees. You've been out here too long.
[1981.0s] Will tries
[1983.0s] to whisper quietly,
[1985.0s] don't go with them. I think
[1987.0s] they're screwed.
[1989.0s] Hey, who's that?
[1991.0s] Who's your boss?
[1993.0s] Where are you taking us? Why should we even
[1995.0s] go with you? How tall are these guys? Are they
[1997.0s] little shrimpy guys or what?
[1999.0s] Can I step on one?
[2001.0s] Well, they're not that small.
[2003.0s] Crunch!
[2005.0s] They are small creatures. I'd say they're probably
[2007.0s] maxed like two feet tall.
[2009.0s] Okay, so I don't know how well
[2011.0s] they're corralling us, right?
[2013.0s] Yeah, I think we're just kind of standing.
[2015.0s] We need to know where you're taking us.
[2017.0s] I'm taking you to see the boss. The boss
[2019.0s] has to clear everybody
[2021.0s] in this part of the forest. Tell me who the
[2023.0s] boss is. Way to say
[2025.0s] that in a different way. I'm just trying so hard.
[2029.0s] The boss is Avon. You heard of Avon?
[2031.0s] Yes, we've heard of Avon. Please
[2033.0s] take us to her. Yes, yes.
[2035.0s] Avon's going to have a field day with you
[2037.0s] guys. Don't worry about it. Jokester's all
[2039.0s] over the place. Hey, you run your mouth. I'm going to
[2041.0s] have a field day with you, as in punting
[2043.0s] you over a field goal.
[2045.0s] That's not how that sports.
[2047.0s] Hey, give it a try.
[2049.0s] The other one bites up.
[2051.0s] I'll take you down.
[2053.0s] Pointy ear, whatever.
[2055.0s] Excuse
[2057.0s] me? You heard him.
[2059.0s] I love that you're talking to yourself, right?
[2061.0s] I know, it's so good.
[2063.0s] Just take us to Avon and shut your mouth.
[2065.0s] He's not having any of it.
[2067.0s] Did you hear something in the wood?
[2069.0s] I didn't hear anything in the wood.
[2071.0s] Were you guys talking to someone when you said
[2073.0s] that you weren't supposed to be alone out here?
[2075.0s] Were you talking to someone when I said
[2077.0s] I'm not supposed to be alone up here?
[2079.0s] Yeah, I was talking to my friend here. What were you
[2081.0s] talking to? Yeah, me too. Who were you
[2083.0s] talking to? Fucking walk.
[2085.0s] You keep
[2087.0s] an eye out. I'll keep an eye out.
[2089.0s] Don't you worry. It's one of
[2091.0s] you, child. So
[2093.0s] is Avon a pretty good boss?
[2095.0s] Yes, sir. Yeah, she's the best.
[2097.0s] Don't worry about it. What are the benefit packages
[2099.0s] like? I don't understand.
[2101.0s] Yeah, dental.
[2105.0s] Avon,
[2107.0s] she sells cosmetics, right?
[2109.0s] It's your
[2111.0s] local Avon lady.
[2113.0s] I think they're
[2115.0s] making fun of us.
[2117.0s] Will whispers,
[2119.0s] fuck you, Brutus.
[2121.0s] Hey, who was that?
[2123.0s] No one.
[2125.0s] I think it's them.
[2127.0s] I think it's them goddamn hipsters
[2129.0s] again. Yeah, it's probably the hipsters.
[2131.0s] Hipsters? It's totally not them.
[2133.0s] Oh, those hipsters are the worst.
[2135.0s] Fuck, are you guys traveling
[2137.0s] around with those idiots?
[2139.0s] Idiots. We're looking
[2141.0s] for Avon. Well,
[2143.0s] why would you be looking for Avon?
[2145.0s] Because you're bringing us to her.
[2147.0s] Last group that
[2149.0s] came here who said they
[2151.0s] were looking for Avon was with them.
[2153.0s] Yeah, and we did away with
[2155.0s] those idiots, too. You did?
[2157.0s] Well, yeah.
[2159.0s] You did? Yeah.
[2161.0s] What'd you do? I used my sickle
[2163.0s] and I murdered them.
[2165.0s] Really? Yeah.
[2167.0s] That sickle looks pretty clean,
[2169.0s] like it's never seen a battle. I just licked
[2171.0s] it. Whoa.
[2173.0s] That's what she said.
[2175.0s] He makes a face like, oh god.
[2177.0s] Alright!
[2179.0s] I like the commentary
[2181.0s] from the trees.
[2183.0s] We know you're up
[2185.0s] there. No? I pick
[2187.0s] one up by the scruff of the neck.
[2189.0s] I didn't realize Avon had crazy
[2191.0s] creatures working for her that are hearing
[2193.0s] things, it seems. I would
[2195.0s] have thought she'd have better staff than that.
[2197.0s] Did you pick one up by the scruff
[2199.0s] of the neck? I try.
[2201.0s] How does an 18 do against
[2203.0s] your AC? Those are some sharp
[2205.0s] sickles. Against my armor?
[2207.0s] I have a 16.
[2209.0s] Good, you take a sickle hit.
[2211.0s] Hey! You take
[2213.0s] seven slashing damage,
[2215.0s] roll for initiative. Oh, come
[2217.0s] on! 18.
[2219.0s] I was just going to tell him how handsome
[2221.0s] he was. 18.
[2223.0s] 19.
[2225.0s] Ha ha ha!
[2227.0s] 20.
[2229.0s] 17. Brutus is up first.
[2231.0s] He is the one with the deeper
[2233.0s] voice. And he
[2235.0s] stomps
[2237.0s] quickly over to
[2239.0s] Flint.
[2241.0s] And he moves
[2243.0s] up to its speed
[2245.0s] and kicks it
[2247.0s] with his iron boots.
[2249.0s] The target has to make a
[2251.0s] dexterity saving throw. That'd be you, Flint.
[2253.0s] Goodness.
[2255.0s] You're kicking me with boots?
[2257.0s] Yeah. Iron boots.
[2259.0s] Well, that's a 19.
[2261.0s] Okay.
[2263.0s] You die.
[2265.0s] Sorry.
[2267.0s] That sounded ominous.
[2269.0s] This red cap runs towards you and
[2271.0s] flies at you with both of these
[2273.0s] heavy iron boots.
[2275.0s] And you nimbly step out of the way
[2277.0s] and it flies past you. And it collects
[2279.0s] itself at the other end.
[2281.0s] It is Kel's turn.
[2283.0s] Where are you, Kel?
[2285.0s] I'm hiding in a bush.
[2287.0s] And I'm going to shoot
[2289.0s] Was the high one the one that
[2291.0s] took the first swing?
[2293.0s] The high pitched voice?
[2295.0s] Yeah, I got him by the scruff.
[2297.0s] He is holding it.
[2299.0s] Don't you hit me. I'll try not to.
[2301.0s] I'm going to take a shot with my short bow.
[2303.0s] Oh, boy.
[2305.0s] That is a
[2307.0s] 24. 24 is going to hit.
[2309.0s] Yeah. Oh, that's awful.
[2311.0s] Seven.
[2313.0s] That's not awful.
[2315.0s] I roll the one.
[2317.0s] It's all good.
[2319.0s] The one with
[2321.0s] the high voice is up next.
[2325.0s] And he's like, ah, motherfucker.
[2327.0s] And he swings his sickle
[2329.0s] at you thrice.
[2331.0s] Thrice. Thrice.
[2335.0s] Someone else has to say thrice because
[2337.0s] it's, yeah. Thrice.
[2339.0s] 22, 15,
[2341.0s] and 13.
[2343.0s] The 22
[2345.0s] Okay. So you take another
[2347.0s] sickle damage.
[2349.0s] That's sick.
[2351.0s] It's four slashing damage to you.
[2353.0s] Thea, you're up.
[2355.0s] Okay. Well, first, I shake him
[2357.0s] violently, you know.
[2361.0s] Like a
[2363.0s] like a mother dog just like
[2365.0s] I'll kill you too.
[2367.0s] by the scruff of the neck. And what I'm going
[2369.0s] to do. So I'm going to conjure
[2371.0s] I'm going to produce flame
[2373.0s] in my hand. So I
[2375.0s] like Thea's just like mad.
[2377.0s] She's been poked twice by the stupid
[2379.0s] sickle. I have the stupid
[2381.0s] scruff of a man. And so
[2383.0s] like I've got him face level
[2385.0s] and I produce flame
[2387.0s] right in front of him in my hand
[2389.0s] and I like
[2395.0s] I'm going to skin you alive.
[2397.0s] Yeah, sure. If you can get free, little man.
[2399.0s] 11 damage.
[2401.0s] 11 fire damage.
[2403.0s] Thea's a little
[2405.0s] sadistic today.
[2407.0s] Not statistic.
[2409.0s] Nulara, you're up.
[2411.0s] Looks like Thea's got that one.
[2413.0s] She's like shoving fire down his throat.
[2415.0s] So the other one kind of
[2417.0s] just like flew
[2419.0s] past when he missed
[2421.0s] Flint. Yeah. So you
[2423.0s] are I'd say probably about 30
[2425.0s] feet from that other one.
[2427.0s] Well, that's good because that's how fast
[2429.0s] I can go. So I'm going
[2431.0s] to go and I'm going to swart him real good.
[2433.0s] On my way there
[2435.0s] I'll pull out flame tongue.
[2437.0s] Snail tongue fired.
[2439.0s] It's much more impressive.
[2441.0s] And that is
[2443.0s] a 24 to hit.
[2445.0s] Yeah. Great.
[2447.0s] So that is
[2449.0s] 15 damage on my first attack.
[2451.0s] Sure.
[2453.0s] And then I'm going to attack him again.
[2455.0s] And that one probably doesn't work
[2457.0s] because it's only a 13.
[2459.0s] 13 hits.
[2461.0s] Sweet. I guess he is just a little
[2463.0s] shrimpy guy.
[2465.0s] 15 damage on that one.
[2467.0s] Oh yeah.
[2469.0s] And then Donnie's going to come
[2471.0s] try and give him a little chomp chomp.
[2473.0s] He will
[2475.0s] fail at that
[2477.0s] attempt because he only
[2479.0s] got a nine. But maybe he
[2481.0s] tries to pull his hat askew or
[2483.0s] something. You know.
[2485.0s] Now you look stupid. Now your hat
[2487.0s] looks dumb. After
[2489.0s] you've done your turn there you all
[2491.0s] hear a
[2493.0s] loud and
[2495.0s] quick
[2497.0s] fly through the area
[2499.0s] that you're in
[2501.0s] and the light seems to
[2503.0s] dim around you
[2505.0s] and then come back.
[2507.0s] Like something just sucked the magic
[2509.0s] out of the area for a moment. Maybe.
[2511.0s] And Flint it's your turn.
[2513.0s] Alright.
[2515.0s] I'm going to axe this red
[2517.0s] cap that went flying by me that
[2519.0s] Nulara just beat up on.
[2521.0s] That is a 19.
[2523.0s] Yep.
[2525.0s] That's 12 damage.
[2527.0s] Okay.
[2529.0s] And another
[2531.0s] 19.
[2533.0s] So that's 11 and 2. 13.
[2535.0s] And he's like
[2537.0s] Oh just you wait.
[2539.0s] Avan's gonna have.
[2541.0s] Oh she's gonna get you guys.
[2543.0s] Alright. In that case I'm gonna take
[2545.0s] my action surge and attack
[2547.0s] him again.
[2549.0s] Just for mouth and mouth.
[2551.0s] That's a 22.
[2553.0s] Yeah that's gonna hit.
[2555.0s] 21 damage. These guys are pretty robust.
[2557.0s] That's a shitload of damage he's
[2559.0s] taken. Yeah.
[2561.0s] As he's like Avan's gonna have
[2563.0s] a. She's gonna skin you
[2565.0s] alive and then you just
[2567.0s] splat him.
[2569.0s] As one does
[2571.0s] with an axe. Yep.
[2573.0s] Can I turn the buddy that I'm holding and be like
[2575.0s] Look what happened to your friend.
[2577.0s] Brutus!
[2579.0s] No!
[2585.0s] No!
[2587.0s] So
[2589.0s] he's screaming and inhaling fire?
[2591.0s] Well I
[2593.0s] didn't put the fire in his face.
[2595.0s] Behind you Thea. You
[2597.0s] feel like you feel
[2599.0s] like a wind come up behind you.
[2601.0s] And that's a 16
[2603.0s] against your AC.
[2605.0s] You're gonna take
[2607.0s] five piercing
[2609.0s] damage from a vicious rapier
[2611.0s] that has come up behind you.
[2613.0s] As well
[2615.0s] you are going
[2617.0s] to lose
[2619.0s] a spell slot.
[2621.0s] No I'm not.
[2623.0s] Yeah.
[2625.0s] Why? Because that's
[2627.0s] when you take the damage
[2629.0s] you lose a spell slot. Avan's vamping ya.
[2631.0s] But why? Oh hold on.
[2633.0s] Succeed on a will saving throw.
[2635.0s] Thank you. Or not a will.
[2637.0s] A Kell saving throw?
[2639.0s] Yeah.
[2641.0s] A Kell saving throw.
[2643.0s] 21
[2645.0s] I do not lose my spell slot?
[2647.0s] Would that be lose a spell slot forever?
[2649.0s] You don't know.
[2651.0s] Guys I need to get out of here.
[2653.0s] Okay so you don't lose a spell slot.
[2655.0s] But you do take that damage.
[2657.0s] Will you're up.
[2659.0s] Periwinkle's alive right?
[2661.0s] Periwinkle's screaming
[2663.0s] still somehow in Thea's
[2665.0s] arms.
[2667.0s] But yeah he's alive. Okay.
[2669.0s] I'm gonna take that as a nice set target.
[2671.0s] Use my short bow.
[2673.0s] Try and put one between the eyes.
[2677.0s] Monster 11.
[2681.0s] 11 does not hit.
[2683.0s] Well shit.
[2685.0s] You guys are just hiding up in the trees?
[2687.0s] Yeah more or less. I'm in a bush.
[2689.0s] Let's go to the bush. Yeah no that's
[2691.0s] cool. That's cool.
[2693.0s] Thaddeus is just kind of
[2695.0s] watching. Oh yeah Thaddeus.
[2697.0s] Yeah Thaddeus is here. It's his turn.
[2699.0s] He's gonna do shit.
[2701.0s] He's gonna cast
[2703.0s] cloud of daggers
[2705.0s] just behind.
[2707.0s] Called it.
[2713.0s] Russ loves cloud of daggers.
[2715.0s] Well who doesn't love cloud of daggers?
[2717.0s] Just behind Thea.
[2719.0s] Hey it's called cloud of daggers. It's cool as hell.
[2721.0s] Just behind me? Yeah.
[2723.0s] Just behind Thea.
[2725.0s] And Will and Kel
[2727.0s] up in the trees you hear
[2729.0s] the skittering. Skittling?
[2731.0s] Of skittling.
[2733.0s] Skittling.
[2735.0s] Of what you know
[2737.0s] to be the mean locks
[2739.0s] climbing up the trees to come get you.
[2741.0s] Fuck. There ain't no nice locks?
[2745.0s] Boo.
[2747.0s] So Brutus.
[2749.0s] Who said that? Which one of you booed me?
[2753.0s] Podcast over. Nobody
[2755.0s] boos.
[2757.0s] Kel you're up bud. Oh I'm up. Uh oh.
[2761.0s] Yeah Brutus is dead.
[2763.0s] Well I'm up in a tree.
[2767.0s] Or in a bush. Last I understood you guys
[2769.0s] were in a bush or in a tree.
[2771.0s] Either way you hear
[2773.0s] skittering of mean locks coming towards you.
[2775.0s] How far would you say I am
[2777.0s] from
[2779.0s] periwinkle? You were probably
[2781.0s] well you're well within range cause you
[2783.0s] can move really fast. Okay.
[2785.0s] I would like to run out of
[2787.0s] my tree if possible.
[2789.0s] Might have to do some rolls.
[2791.0s] I would like to run over there
[2793.0s] and hit him with a short sword. But if I need to
[2795.0s] roll before then so I don't like land on my face
[2797.0s] I'll do so.
[2799.0s] No you can do it.
[2801.0s] Alright.
[2803.0s] Roll then.
[2807.0s] That is a whopping
[2811.0s] 11.
[2813.0s] 11 does not hit.
[2815.0s] And as you run
[2817.0s] past Thea and Periwinkle
[2819.0s] you feel a rapier
[2821.0s] just kind of
[2823.0s] glance beside your head.
[2825.0s] Doesn't hit you but you know that
[2827.0s] that is the rapier
[2829.0s] of Avon who is
[2831.0s] somewhere in the
[2833.0s] vicinity.
[2835.0s] Periwinkle's turn
[2837.0s] and he's still screaming Brutus!
[2843.0s] He with unknowing
[2845.0s] force
[2847.0s] boots you in the chest.
[2849.0s] Thea.
[2851.0s] Yeah that makes sense.
[2853.0s] So you gotta make a
[2855.0s] dexterity saving throw to see if you stay
[2857.0s] standing.
[2859.0s] Critical fail.
[2861.0s] Amazing.
[2863.0s] Oh my god am I gonna fall back into
[2865.0s] fucking cloud of daggers?
[2867.0s] I will kill
[2869.0s] Fatty.
[2871.0s] I will kill
[2873.0s] him dead. You didn't even plan it
[2875.0s] that way. That's good.
[2877.0s] Couldn't have worked out better.
[2879.0s] So you're gonna take.
[2881.0s] With all the damage.
[2883.0s] Guys I might die.
[2885.0s] Because of Fatty's.
[2887.0s] That's 18
[2889.0s] bludgeoning damage from the
[2891.0s] iron boots. I will
[2893.0s] hunt you guys. And you are knocked backwards
[2895.0s] into the cloud of
[2897.0s] daggers because you go
[2899.0s] Don't die you'll be stuck with
[2901.0s] Grancis forever.
[2903.0s] Fate worse
[2905.0s] than death.
[2907.0s] Guys I'm
[2909.0s] bloodied.
[2911.0s] Oh my god.
[2913.0s] I'm sorry has anyone else taken
[2915.0s] damage this round?
[2917.0s] That's because you're holding one of them.
[2919.0s] Well I haven't had the opportunity to drop them.
[2921.0s] Frankly I was just about to throw them behind
[2923.0s] me into the cloud of daggers.
[2925.0s] Because I was picking up what
[2927.0s] Thaddeus was putting down.
[2929.0s] So that's
[2931.0s] Over D4
[2933.0s] slashing damage.
[2935.0s] Can you roll all ones?
[2937.0s] I can try.
[2939.0s] Four, eight, nine
[2941.0s] slashing damage.
[2943.0s] And you're prone.
[2945.0s] Because you got knocked backwards.
[2947.0s] And you're prone. So that sucks for you.
[2949.0s] But it's your turn. Remember you can take a healing
[2951.0s] surge if you need to.
[2953.0s] I'm gonna say you're not holding periwinkle anymore.
[2955.0s] Well obviously.
[2957.0s] If someone kicks you in the chest you let them go.
[2959.0s] So I'm gonna
[2961.0s] take a healing surge right now.
[2963.0s] Give me back nine.
[2965.0s] It's like I never fell into a cloud
[2967.0s] of daggers.
[2969.0s] Thaddeus is like
[2971.0s] oh god. Sorry.
[2973.0s] Sorry.
[2975.0s] Okay.
[2977.0s] Would rolling
[2979.0s] be an action or can I
[2981.0s] roll as a movement? Not
[2983.0s] get up because getting up would be my action.
[2985.0s] You can stand up and take
[2987.0s] half of your movement.
[2989.0s] But then I can't cast?
[2991.0s] You could crawl up to half of your movement.
[2993.0s] Yeah you can still
[2995.0s] half of your movement action.
[2997.0s] We did it wrong in dragons.
[2999.0s] We've been playing it right since then.
[3001.0s] Well I
[3003.0s] do not get knocked prone often.
[3005.0s] Well now you're not prone.
[3007.0s] So you can stand up and move half your
[3009.0s] movement. You can crawl up to half of your
[3011.0s] movement. And you can cast.
[3013.0s] But any
[3015.0s] attack action you take
[3017.0s] rolls at disadvantage because you are prone.
[3019.0s] Okay well I get up and I
[3021.0s] move the fuck away from
[3023.0s] this cloud of daggers. Sure.
[3025.0s] Okay well I gotta
[3027.0s] do it. I'm in a wild shape.
[3031.0s] And I'm in a wild shape into
[3033.0s] my winter wolf because it's my go
[3035.0s] to. Yep. So
[3037.0s] that's what I'm gonna do.
[3039.0s] I do it!
[3041.0s] Can I
[3043.0s] also do a spell?
[3045.0s] I'm pretty sure
[3047.0s] that's it. I don't think you can cast as a winter
[3049.0s] wolf. Then I
[3051.0s] would do my spell first. Da!
[3053.0s] Come on. Keep up.
[3055.0s] Jesus.
[3057.0s] Okay. So that's
[3059.0s] it. I guess that's it.
[3061.0s] I'm a winter
[3063.0s] wolf now.
[3065.0s] Kel
[3067.0s] you've moved. But from where
[3069.0s] you are or where you were
[3071.0s] behind the bush
[3073.0s] you turn and see
[3075.0s] two mean
[3077.0s] locks coming out, running
[3079.0s] towards you. And for
[3081.0s] everybody else you see
[3083.0s] the mean locks as well
[3085.0s] because they are now out in the open.
[3087.0s] And they are like
[3089.0s] large centipede type
[3091.0s] creatures.
[3093.0s] Yeah. Come on Russ.
[3095.0s] Gross.
[3097.0s] That's what I do.
[3099.0s] Like the ones we had in Korea but
[3101.0s] really big. Do they skittle at all
[3103.0s] or? Yeah.
[3105.0s] They look like they would scuttle.
[3107.0s] There's two of them at this point and
[3109.0s] they run towards Kel specifically.
[3111.0s] More like a flea.
[3113.0s] Like a gross flea.
[3115.0s] I'm done with my commentary. Sorry.
[3117.0s] One of them
[3119.0s] attacks at Kel
[3121.0s] and misses. The other one
[3123.0s] attacks at Kel and I drop the
[3125.0s] dice. And that is
[3127.0s] a 16
[3129.0s] against your AC.
[3131.0s] Yep. That hits.
[3133.0s] So you're going to take 2d4
[3135.0s] plus 2 slashing damage
[3137.0s] which is going to be 8 slashing
[3139.0s] damage. And you must
[3141.0s] succeed on a constitution saving throw.
[3143.0s] Alrighty.
[3147.0s] Oh boy.
[3149.0s] That's an 8.
[3151.0s] 8 fails.
[3153.0s] So you
[3155.0s] should consider yourself paralyzed
[3157.0s] for an hour.
[3159.0s] Okay.
[3161.0s] Unless somebody helps
[3163.0s] you in some way shape or form.
[3165.0s] I've got this.
[3167.0s] How many mean locks is there? Three did you say?
[3169.0s] Two I do believe.
[3171.0s] There are two that have come out.
[3173.0s] There's two that you can
[3175.0s] see. What a fun little tease.
[3177.0s] What a fun
[3179.0s] There's two that you see.
[3181.0s] Nularaaaa it's your turn.
[3183.0s] Can I see
[3185.0s] Aven or
[3187.0s] she's like invisible
[3189.0s] or what's the deal?
[3191.0s] Yeah about that.
[3193.0s] You don't really see her right now.
[3195.0s] Well shit.
[3197.0s] You do see
[3199.0s] you've noticed. You don't see
[3201.0s] it right now but you have noticed
[3203.0s] a glowing
[3205.0s] blue light that kind of
[3207.0s] comes in and out.
[3209.0s] Usually around
[3211.0s] once was when Thea got
[3213.0s] attacked and probably said ouchie.
[3217.0s] But other times yeah you've seen it
[3219.0s] kind of glow but you haven't
[3221.0s] seen her specifically.
[3223.0s] Okay.
[3225.0s] Then I am going to
[3227.0s] cast a spell. Whoa.
[3229.0s] I know you guys. Buckle up.
[3231.0s] This is groundbreaking stuff. This is like literally
[3233.0s] never happened before. She's just worried
[3235.0s] somebody's gonna take them from her. That's true.
[3237.0s] I might as well use them now.
[3239.0s] I'm going to cast Hunter's
[3241.0s] Mark on one of the
[3243.0s] mean locks and that
[3245.0s] means it is I've mystically
[3247.0s] marked it as my quarry.
[3249.0s] So I get to give it an extra
[3251.0s] D6 damage when I hit it with a
[3253.0s] weapon. So I'd like to do that to whatever
[3255.0s] one is closest to me right now.
[3257.0s] Yep.
[3259.0s] They're both
[3261.0s] kind of right in front of you because that's where Kel's
[3263.0s] about. Okay.
[3265.0s] And then I have advantage
[3267.0s] on perception and survival
[3269.0s] checks.
[3271.0s] So just FYI I'm going
[3273.0s] to give this bastard more damage when I
[3275.0s] attack him right
[3277.0s] now.
[3279.0s] It's a 24.
[3281.0s] Yeah 24 is going to hit.
[3283.0s] Good. I'd be real worried.
[3285.0s] Just barely.
[3287.0s] Okay.
[3289.0s] So that is
[3291.0s] 19 damage.
[3293.0s] Then I'm going to attack it again
[3295.0s] because he's gross and I hate him.
[3297.0s] Naturally.
[3299.0s] And that is a
[3301.0s] 15. Yep.
[3303.0s] 15 damage on
[3305.0s] that attack. So that mean lock
[3307.0s] lets out a mean locky shriek which is kind
[3309.0s] of like eeeeeeeeh
[3311.0s] and it's dead. Perfect. In that
[3313.0s] case
[3315.0s] FYI once it dies
[3317.0s] I can change
[3319.0s] who I have Hunter's Marked because I can
[3321.0s] do this for an hour. Sure.
[3323.0s] So I can do that at the beginning of my next turn
[3325.0s] I guess probably is when you would like me to do
[3327.0s] that. Yes. I don't know how
[3329.0s] spells work. I don't know.
[3331.0s] Probably the best time.
[3333.0s] Yeah.
[3335.0s] Me neither and I've been doing them for like three years.
[3337.0s] Donnie is
[3339.0s] what's the other red
[3341.0s] cat periwinkle or something is his name?
[3343.0s] Yeah he's still screaming and he's
[3345.0s] like stomping Thea with his boots.
[3347.0s] Okay Donnie's going to try and
[3349.0s] take a little nippy nip out of him.
[3351.0s] Do it Donnie.
[3353.0s] That was an 18
[3355.0s] Donnie.
[3357.0s] Totally did
[3359.0s] it.
[3361.0s] That is
[3363.0s] 5 damage and he
[3365.0s] needs to make a con saving throw.
[3367.0s] That's a 15.
[3369.0s] Yeah that'll do it.
[3371.0s] Okay. Flint you're up
[3373.0s] yet. Am I also
[3375.0s] not able to see Aven?
[3377.0s] You at this point can't see Aven
[3379.0s] as well.
[3381.0s] Alright I will meander
[3383.0s] around the cloud of daggers and go kick the shit out
[3385.0s] of periwinkle.
[3387.0s] Could someone please throw him into the cloud of
[3389.0s] daggers? I cannot be the only one
[3391.0s] who lands in the cloud of daggers.
[3393.0s] Okay yeah I'll move over there
[3395.0s] and throw him into the cloud of daggers.
[3397.0s] Okay.
[3399.0s] Sure.
[3401.0s] After I take a swing at him with my axe.
[3403.0s] Okay.
[3405.0s] It's a 19.
[3407.0s] Did you roll anything less than 19?
[3409.0s] No he does not. Well we got a pretty good bonus.
[3411.0s] That's true.
[3413.0s] It's a 2 so I get to re-roll
[3415.0s] that. Yeah 10.
[3417.0s] It's a 19
[3419.0s] damage. Okay.
[3421.0s] And now I'm going to
[3423.0s] body slam him
[3425.0s] into the cloud of daggers.
[3427.0s] But like enough that I'm on the other
[3429.0s] side of it and he is going
[3431.0s] directly into it. Sure.
[3433.0s] So you're like hip checking
[3435.0s] him in or you're like picking him up and throwing
[3437.0s] him in. Tell me what Flynn's doing.
[3439.0s] I'm going to essentially like
[3441.0s] judo throw him in there.
[3443.0s] Okay kind of like an over the head flip.
[3445.0s] Well I was thinking more
[3447.0s] like along the side of me but sure
[3449.0s] whatever works for you. Sure okay.
[3451.0s] So he's going to try
[3453.0s] and contest that and grab
[3455.0s] onto you.
[3457.0s] Bring it periwinkle. So let's make
[3459.0s] a
[3461.0s] strength we'll just do a strength straight
[3463.0s] strength contest. Okay.
[3465.0s] 14.
[3467.0s] 17.
[3469.0s] So he
[3471.0s] holds onto you and grapples you
[3473.0s] and you are
[3475.0s] now grappled with periwinkle.
[3477.0s] Damn it Amy.
[3483.0s] Whatever how do you lose a strength
[3485.0s] contest to something that's two feet
[3487.0s] tall. Apparently it has a crazy
[3489.0s] strength roll.
[3491.0s] In the middle
[3493.0s] of all the action nowhere near
[3495.0s] the cloud of daggers
[3497.0s] you
[3499.0s] see the blue
[3501.0s] light Nularaaa that you have seen
[3503.0s] and then it comes
[3505.0s] to form what looks
[3507.0s] like a two foot tall
[3509.0s] elf like creature
[3511.0s] with giant dragonfly
[3513.0s] wings and she says
[3515.0s] Kell and Will
[3517.0s] thank you
[3519.0s] for coming back and bringing me
[3521.0s] new subjects. I say nothing
[3523.0s] because I'm paralyzed.
[3525.0s] Don't worry there's the
[3527.0s] other there's the other one I know you're here.
[3529.0s] Can I try and shoot
[3531.0s] her in the ass with an arrow? No it's still
[3533.0s] her turn. Are you saying
[3535.0s] anything?
[3539.0s] I'm going to try and stay
[3541.0s] hidden. Okay. She says
[3543.0s] my mean locks have found you
[3545.0s] they will be there soon.
[3547.0s] And she
[3549.0s] disappears again and you just see the blue
[3551.0s] light and she flies over
[3553.0s] to Thaddeus
[3555.0s] and swings at him
[3557.0s] with her
[3559.0s] right here.
[3561.0s] That's a 14
[3563.0s] I can't remember what his
[3565.0s] thing is.
[3567.0s] 16 so she misses him.
[3569.0s] But you still see that blue
[3571.0s] glowing light near where
[3573.0s] Thaddeus is everybody.
[3575.0s] And
[3577.0s] Will your turn.
[3579.0s] Her blue light doesn't go on and off
[3581.0s] right it's just on? It kind of fades
[3583.0s] in and out. She can make it
[3585.0s] do that. Okay.
[3587.0s] How's holding your action work that
[3589.0s] I can just use that
[3591.0s] whenever? Yep. Yeah you would have
[3593.0s] until Aven's next turn
[3595.0s] to ready
[3597.0s] your action. Yeah. So you
[3599.0s] you'd say
[3601.0s] you'd say what you want to do
[3603.0s] and a trigger that would
[3605.0s] come up before that next
[3607.0s] turn. So and if Aven
[3609.0s] reappears
[3611.0s] I shoot an arrow or something.
[3613.0s] Okay.
[3615.0s] I'm going to move
[3617.0s] as close to the middle
[3619.0s] of the group as I can. Okay.
[3621.0s] Tip toeing around the cloud of daggers.
[3623.0s] And I'm going to
[3625.0s] ready fairy
[3627.0s] fire. Okay. And
[3629.0s] the trigger will be when Aven
[3631.0s] appears again. Okay. So
[3633.0s] from behind where you were two more
[3635.0s] mean locks come out.
[3637.0s] So you're now in the middle of the group
[3639.0s] kind of surrounded by
[3641.0s] all of the action happening around
[3643.0s] you. So those mean locks are going to
[3645.0s] run into the fray.
[3647.0s] And they one is going to go
[3649.0s] to Nulara and
[3651.0s] one is going to go
[3653.0s] towards Thea.
[3655.0s] And they are going to swing their
[3657.0s] claws at you.
[3659.0s] So 20 for Nulara and
[3661.0s] a 15 for Thea. So Thea's
[3663.0s] misses. But Nulara
[3665.0s] you have to take some damage
[3667.0s] and make a constitution saving throw.
[3669.0s] Great. I love
[3671.0s] taking constitution saving throws.
[3673.0s] They're my favorite.
[3675.0s] So it's eight slashing damage and
[3677.0s] 18.
[3679.0s] Yes. You're not
[3681.0s] paralyzed. My AC is 13.
[3683.0s] Your AC is 13.
[3685.0s] I thought your AC was 16. I'm a winter wolf.
[3687.0s] Oh, you're a winter wolf.
[3689.0s] All right. Well, you're going to take
[3691.0s] some damage too. Damn my honesty.
[3693.0s] I know. It's good honesty though. I
[3695.0s] admire your honesty. Seven
[3697.0s] slashing damage and
[3699.0s] a constitution saving throw.
[3701.0s] 19 plus whatever. You saved.
[3703.0s] So you're not paralyzed either.
[3707.0s] Thaddeus, it's your
[3709.0s] turn. Okay. Great.
[3715.0s] Thaddeus is going to
[3717.0s] drop his concentration on the
[3719.0s] cloud of daggers and say
[3721.0s] sorry, sorry,
[3723.0s] sorry.
[3725.0s] And then go over to Kel and
[3727.0s] casts his greater, casts his
[3729.0s] I was going to say it but I thought it.
[3731.0s] He casts his greater restoration on you.
[3735.0s] This bird is a
[3737.0s] castaway. It's the most dangerous bird
[3739.0s] in the world. So you are no longer
[3741.0s] paralyzed but you are prone.
[3743.0s] Now Kel, it's your turn.
[3745.0s] So is it half
[3747.0s] or all movement speed or something to
[3749.0s] stand up or? Yeah, half your speed to
[3751.0s] stand up and then you still have half movement.
[3753.0s] All righty.
[3755.0s] Is the mean lock that
[3757.0s] hit me still standing next to me?
[3759.0s] Yep, there is one right beside you.
[3761.0s] Oh, I will try
[3763.0s] again with the short sword. Sure.
[3767.0s] Oh, that's much better. That is
[3769.0s] a
[3771.0s] 25.
[3773.0s] That will definitely hit, yep.
[3775.0s] God
[3777.0s] damn it. That's a seven and
[3779.0s] I forgot last time weapons are
[3781.0s] coated with some juices so you need to
[3783.0s] make a con
[3785.0s] save.
[3787.0s] What kind of juices? I know juices
[3789.0s] was a gross way of saying that.
[3791.0s] 13.
[3793.0s] That is the DC.
[3795.0s] Fruit punch juices? If it
[3797.0s] meets it beats unless it's healing so he saves.
[3799.0s] Oh, damn.
[3801.0s] I want to know what these juices do.
[3803.0s] I know. That's a
[3805.0s] question for later. Russ
[3807.0s] Rowe juices. Sorry, you said seven damage?
[3809.0s] Yes.
[3811.0s] Okay, and now it
[3813.0s] is Periwinkle's turn.
[3815.0s] Periwinkle's still kicking. Oh, he's grappled
[3817.0s] with Flint. Yep.
[3819.0s] They're in a manly embrace.
[3821.0s] The manliest.
[3823.0s] That's how you do when you grapple.
[3825.0s] Your beards are all entangled.
[3827.0s] It's
[3829.0s] fairly romantic.
[3831.0s] So both of our speeds become
[3833.0s] zero and we can't benefit from any
[3835.0s] bonus to speed.
[3837.0s] Condition ends if
[3839.0s] the grappler is incapacitated.
[3841.0s] So yeah, he's
[3843.0s] going to
[3845.0s] I don't even know what the fuck he's going to do to you.
[3849.0s] Hug you tighter. Whisper sweet nothings
[3851.0s] in your ear. Yeah, he's
[3853.0s] going to try, he's like holding on
[3855.0s] to your, I'm not
[3857.0s] going to say your shoulders, but he's like holding on to the front
[3859.0s] of your, like your arms.
[3861.0s] He's just holding onto your arms. That's probably better.
[3863.0s] He's holding onto your arms.
[3865.0s] And he's using the leverage of
[3867.0s] your arms to pull
[3869.0s] himself, to jump and pull himself
[3871.0s] and kick you with his iron
[3873.0s] boots. So make
[3875.0s] a deck save.
[3877.0s] Wouldn't he need to like
[3879.0s] because we're grappled, so technically I'm
[3881.0s] holding on to him as well, so wouldn't he have to
[3883.0s] like out-strength me?
[3885.0s] Yeah, let's do that too.
[3889.0s] Tom, asking the important questions.
[3893.0s] Twenty-two.
[3895.0s] Okay, fifteen.
[3897.0s] So, he doesn't do that.
[3899.0s] It's fine.
[3901.0s] Alright.
[3903.0s] I don't know how to get out of a grapple.
[3905.0s] Yeah, you're still
[3907.0s] grappling him.
[3909.0s] Periwinkle wets himself.
[3911.0s] Flint gets grossed out, dropped out.
[3915.0s] The ultimate defense.
[3917.0s] Oh, thank God.
[3919.0s] Can you give me a little picture of what's around
[3921.0s] me? I've lost track of where all the bad things
[3923.0s] are. So there's a blue light
[3925.0s] near Thaddeus
[3927.0s] that's kind of fading at this point.
[3931.0s] Kel is
[3933.0s] you are there. So Periwinkle and
[3935.0s] Flint are grappled directly in front of you.
[3937.0s] There's no more cloud of daggers.
[3939.0s] There's a mean lock
[3941.0s] on near
[3943.0s] trying to swipe a claw at you.
[3945.0s] And did.
[3947.0s] There's a mean lock on Nularaaaa.
[3949.0s] There's Kel in a mean lock.
[3951.0s] What do you want? There's a mean lock on you.
[3953.0s] And there's a blue
[3955.0s] glowing light. Did Oprah give us these mean locks?
[3957.0s] You get a mean lock.
[3961.0s] Okay, well I am going to
[3963.0s] is there any
[3965.0s] so the mean lock is on me. Is there
[3967.0s] a mean lock within
[3969.0s] I'm going to
[3971.0s] What are you trying to do?
[3973.0s] Well what I want to do is I want to
[3975.0s] frost
[3977.0s] cold breath.
[3979.0s] And it's a 15 foot cone.
[3981.0s] And I'm just wondering how I can position
[3983.0s] this if there's like
[3985.0s] some maximum damage I can inflict.
[3989.0s] You could get
[3991.0s] one mean lock
[3993.0s] or you could
[3995.0s] get two mean locks and a
[3997.0s] Kel.
[4001.0s] You can get me.
[4009.0s] I'll get one mean lock.
[4011.0s] There's a saving
[4013.0s] throw. Just hit him. There is a saving throw
[4015.0s] but it's still half on a
[4017.0s] on a failed save.
[4019.0s] And it's 48 damage.
[4021.0s] I'm going to murder
[4023.0s] a potential buddy.
[4025.0s] Although I am a little bit wary
[4027.0s] she's like you brought us some
[4029.0s] people.
[4031.0s] Who you working for?
[4033.0s] Via has questions. You're allowed to talk if you have questions.
[4035.0s] Who you working
[4037.0s] for?
[4039.0s] I have questions.
[4041.0s] That was a real question.
[4043.0s] That's a real question.
[4045.0s] No one. Just
[4047.0s] us.
[4049.0s] Help.
[4051.0s] You hear Ava say
[4053.0s] oh tell her the truth.
[4055.0s] Hey. Hey.
[4057.0s] Fuck you. This is not your conversation.
[4059.0s] This is between us.
[4061.0s] Ava briefly glimps
[4063.0s] shows her form
[4065.0s] which triggers your
[4067.0s] thing you had going on there. Fairy fire.
[4069.0s] Oh yes.
[4071.0s] What a cute nickname.
[4073.0s] Do it fairy fire.
[4075.0s] It's a
[4077.0s] 20 foot cube.
[4079.0s] It illuminates the area.
[4081.0s] I think she's making a deck save.
[4083.0s] That's an 8.
[4085.0s] So she fails
[4087.0s] and is outlined
[4089.0s] in light for one minute.
[4091.0s] So she can be seen and tracked?
[4093.0s] Yes.
[4095.0s] Perfect.
[4097.0s] Thea turns toward her and
[4099.0s] wait how far away is she?
[4101.0s] She is hovering
[4103.0s] near to Thaddeus.
[4105.0s] Thaddeus? Thaddeus.
[4107.0s] So she is how fast
[4109.0s] is your wolf?
[4111.0s] My wolf is fast. 50.
[4113.0s] Oh yeah you're well within range.
[4115.0s] Okay well I run over to her
[4117.0s] and I cold blast the bitch.
[4119.0s] Sure. Make a dexterity
[4121.0s] saving throw.
[4123.0s] 13.
[4125.0s] So half of 4d8.
[4127.0s] Yeah bitch.
[4129.0s] Five
[4131.0s] cold damage.
[4133.0s] That makes
[4135.0s] me sad because that otherwise
[4137.0s] would have been much much better.
[4139.0s] Yeah that's too bad.
[4141.0s] Yeah that is too bad.
[4143.0s] Okay the mean lock on you Kel.
[4145.0s] It's turn.
[4147.0s] And it's going to
[4149.0s] try to
[4151.0s] claw you again.
[4153.0s] And that is only
[4155.0s] that's a 14.
[4157.0s] Shit. Yep that hits.
[4159.0s] Constitution saving throw.
[4161.0s] Alright.
[4163.0s] My goodness it's a 9.
[4165.0s] Yeah no you're paralyzed
[4167.0s] again.
[4169.0s] And that's
[4171.0s] going to be 8 slashing
[4173.0s] damage to you.
[4175.0s] Alrighty. Okay Yulara's
[4177.0s] turn. Okay I am going to
[4179.0s] change my hunter's mark
[4181.0s] to be on Aven.
[4183.0s] Okay.
[4185.0s] How far away is she? Cause I can
[4187.0s] You guys are
[4189.0s] about as far away as you could
[4191.0s] be. So I'd say you're probably
[4193.0s] 50 feet away.
[4195.0s] Well that's too far
[4197.0s] Russ.
[4199.0s] Well usually I keep it within
[4201.0s] a 30 foot box. So I'm just
[4203.0s] changing it up a little bit. Yeah it's
[4205.0s] probably more realistic I guess.
[4207.0s] Everyone doesn't always fight within my
[4209.0s] running range.
[4211.0s] I am going to
[4213.0s] Oh why did I do that?
[4215.0s] Hey does anybody else have a spear?
[4217.0s] I have somehow released my
[4219.0s] or deleted my what damage
[4221.0s] it does. Anybody? Anybody
[4223.0s] got one that can tell me what it is?
[4225.0s] Cause I have my
[4227.0s] bonus I just have somehow erased
[4229.0s] what damage it does cause I'm a dummy.
[4231.0s] 1d6 plus your strength.
[4233.0s] I just rolled it. One more thing I forgot
[4235.0s] to mention
[4237.0s] for Aven
[4239.0s] since we can see her with fairy fire you get advantage
[4241.0s] on attacks. True story.
[4243.0s] Sweet. Well I didn't get advantage
[4245.0s] on my attack did I?
[4247.0s] We forgot to tell you.
[4249.0s] Yes.
[4251.0s] Do better.
[4253.0s] It's not my job to keep track
[4255.0s] of all of your spells. I'm going to
[4257.0s] move towards her so that I'm closer
[4259.0s] as if she's just going to stay still
[4261.0s] which she won't but whatever I'm going
[4263.0s] to throw my
[4265.0s] spear at her.
[4267.0s] Okay. That is a
[4269.0s] 22. Yeah
[4271.0s] that's going to hit. Okay.
[4273.0s] So that is
[4275.0s] you moved?
[4279.0s] I don't need to do that now.
[4281.0s] I'll throw
[4283.0s] the spear first and then move I suppose.
[4285.0s] If you move you're going to take an opportunity
[4287.0s] to attack from the mean lock that's on you.
[4289.0s] Oh yeah I forgot one of those was
[4291.0s] on me.
[4293.0s] That's fine. I'm still going to throw my
[4295.0s] spear at her. She's the big bad.
[4297.0s] But I didn't move.
[4299.0s] I totes didn't move.
[4301.0s] So
[4303.0s] that is
[4305.0s] 711 damage
[4307.0s] on her.
[4309.0s] Going to go ahead and use my second attack
[4311.0s] on that mean lock that I forgot.
[4313.0s] I was already fighting with.
[4315.0s] That's a 30. Does that
[4317.0s] hit? Does a 30 hit?
[4319.0s] You know what? It doesn't.
[4321.0s] I don't know.
[4323.0s] It hits so well it goes back to no hitting.
[4325.0s] How many dice did you roll?
[4327.0s] Well just one but I have a plus 11
[4329.0s] to attack so
[4331.0s] 19 turns
[4333.0s] into a 30.
[4335.0s] Gets pretty sweet.
[4337.0s] So that is
[4341.0s] 15 damage on that attack.
[4345.0s] Donnie will try and
[4347.0s] I guess give that
[4349.0s] mean lock a little chomp-a-roo.
[4351.0s] He probably fails because
[4353.0s] he only got a 12.
[4355.0s] Yes he does
[4357.0s] fail.
[4359.0s] Flint you're up.
[4361.0s] Alright so I'm still grappling with
[4363.0s] periwinkle correct?
[4365.0s] Alright let's
[4367.0s] strength battle to get out of this situation.
[4371.0s] A 22.
[4373.0s] Yeah I got a 9.
[4375.0s] Solid.
[4377.0s] You crush him like a leaf.
[4379.0s] Yeah I'm going to shove him off me and then
[4381.0s] come scream it down with my axe.
[4383.0s] I would like you to scream as you roll
[4385.0s] too late.
[4387.0s] That's a 16.
[4389.0s] 16 will hit yeah.
[4391.0s] So 15
[4393.0s] damage there.
[4395.0s] And second
[4397.0s] attack is a 20 but not critical.
[4403.0s] And 10 is 21. 23 damage.
[4405.0s] So tell me how you kill
[4407.0s] periwinkle.
[4409.0s] Gleefully.
[4411.0s] I step on his shoulder and
[4413.0s] pull him down and
[4415.0s] behead him.
[4417.0s] And just
[4419.0s] as the axe is coming down he's like
[4421.0s] I'll see you soon
[4423.0s] Brutus.
[4425.0s] I think they were together
[4427.0s] you guys. They were together.
[4429.0s] I'm happy to reunite the two
[4431.0s] red cap lovers.
[4433.0s] It's a love story of the ages.
[4435.0s] It really is.
[4437.0s] Even she's not invisible
[4439.0s] anymore however you want to say that.
[4441.0s] And she looks quite
[4443.0s] upset that she is now
[4445.0s] covered in fairy fire.
[4447.0s] She directs her
[4449.0s] upsetness.
[4451.0s] Her anger.
[4453.0s] She's going to zip on over to
[4455.0s] you. She's going to swing her
[4457.0s] vicious rapier
[4459.0s] at you.
[4461.0s] Not well. That's an 8.
[4463.0s] That'll miss. And she whispers
[4465.0s] to you that nobody else
[4467.0s] hears and she says I'll make
[4469.0s] you believe that it's all you.
[4471.0s] And now it's your turn.
[4473.0s] I will yell you
[4475.0s] pervert.
[4477.0s] Get back.
[4479.0s] Let's see.
[4485.0s] I'm just going to stab her with my
[4487.0s] short sword.
[4489.0s] That is an 18.
[4491.0s] Yes 18 is going to hit.
[4493.0s] That'll do
[4495.0s] 10 damage.
[4497.0s] She needs to make a constitution saving throw.
[4499.0s] About to get juiced.
[4501.0s] Juiced.
[4503.0s] Klon is a 9.
[4505.0s] That's a fail.
[4507.0s] She will be asleep
[4509.0s] for 1d4 hours.
[4511.0s] I think she's going to be easy to kill.
[4513.0s] That's a 4.
[4515.0s] She's asleep for 4 hours.
[4517.0s] She's asleep for 4 hours?
[4519.0s] Fucking sweet!
[4521.0s] Yes.
[4523.0s] Yeah
[4525.0s] You strike her
[4527.0s] and she takes it with 10 damage?
[4529.0s] Yes.
[4531.0s] Okay.
[4533.0s] That brings her down to there.
[4535.0s] Fuck it. She falls asleep.
[4539.0s] Alright.
[4541.0s] Her wings stop flapping and she
[4543.0s] falls to the ground.
[4549.0s] Hey! I'm your dungeon master Russ
[4551.0s] More. Thank you for joining us for episode 33
[4553.0s] of Dumbgeons and Dragons titled
[4555.0s] Where the Feywild Things Skittles
[4557.0s] See Amy I worked it in there. Never have
[4559.0s] doubts. We had a blast recording
[4561.0s] with Michael and Kyle from American Godscast
[4563.0s] who we will hear from in just
[4565.0s] a moment but first things first
[4567.0s] I just want to let you know we've had a busy week here
[4569.0s] obviously we were on American Godscast
[4571.0s] more details on that shortly
[4573.0s] but also we did an interview with Northern
[4575.0s] Nerdcast this past weekend
[4577.0s] which was a blast. I'll link that interview
[4579.0s] in the description so you can have a watch and go give
[4581.0s] Dan and Chelsea some love. If you like what we're doing
[4583.0s] and want to see and hear more from us
[4585.0s] check out our Patreon page
[4587.0s] Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast
[4589.0s] where for as little as a dollar a month you can
[4591.0s] have access to a whole world of bonus content
[4593.0s] including episodes DM'd by Tom
[4595.0s] DM notes and much more
[4597.0s] and starting at the five dollar level in
[4599.0s] March we will begin hosting live
[4601.0s] Google hangouts once a month
[4603.0s] where at least two of us, hopefully
[4605.0s] all four every time, but at least
[4607.0s] two of us will be chatting and
[4609.0s] hanging out with patrons to answer questions
[4611.0s] talk D&D and just shoot the breeze and have
[4613.0s] a good time. Also know that every member
[4615.0s] in the Dumbgeons and Dragons Patreon community
[4617.0s] is helping make this podcast better
[4619.0s] with each episode so thank you
[4621.0s] to everyone who is already a
[4623.0s] member and thank you to anyone who is looking
[4625.0s] at joining us. Let's chat with Michael and Kyle
[4627.0s] here for just a sec. So
[4629.0s] thank you guys. Thank you
[4631.0s] so much. Yeah, thanks for having
[4633.0s] us on. Yeah, thanks for having us. Yeah
[4635.0s] it's been weird. It was
[4637.0s] a fun one. Alright.
[4641.0s] I liked it. Just let
[4643.0s] people know where they can find you
[4645.0s] in your podcast and Twitter and all that
[4647.0s] sort of stuff. Yeah, so you can find
[4649.0s] us. You can send us an email at
[4651.0s] americangozcast.gmail.com. We're on
[4653.0s] Twitter at CastGods
[4655.0s] Facebook American Gods
[4657.0s] podcast and
[4659.0s] we're pretty much on iTunes
[4661.0s] Stitcher, like all the big names, Google Play
[4663.0s] You can find us pretty much anywhere. Awesome
[4665.0s] and so this episode is going to be
[4667.0s] coming out towards the end of the month, February
[4669.0s] 28th
[4671.0s] and we are going to be
[4673.0s] doing a show with Michael
[4675.0s] and Kyle on American
[4677.0s] Gods cast so if you want to go
[4679.0s] check that out we'll be reviewing
[4681.0s] HarmonQuest. I don't know when that
[4683.0s] comes out exactly but it's either just before
[4685.0s] or just after this maybe. Yeah it should be
[4687.0s] in the week of
[4689.0s] the 20th. In the week of the 20th so
[4691.0s] it will have come out so go check out that show
[4693.0s] over there. We will have
[4695.0s] hopefully done our best.
[4697.0s] There will be
[4699.0s] a lot less murder
[4701.0s] no it's HarmonQuest
[4703.0s] but yeah go check them out and
[4705.0s] enjoy what they offer
[4707.0s] over there. So thank you guys again for
[4709.0s] being on the show. Yeah thanks so much.
[4711.0s] Yeah thanks guys. Next episode will be out
[4713.0s] March 14th when we get back on the trail
[4715.0s] enough of these side quest
[4717.0s] adventures. Nah we have fun doing the side quest
[4719.0s] adventures too but yeah we're back on the regularly
[4721.0s] scheduled program. Let's wrap up
[4723.0s] this gong show though. Hope you enjoy and
[4725.0s] we'll chat again in a couple weeks.
[4733.0s] Minlok's turns.
[4735.0s] They see
[4737.0s] Aven fall
[4739.0s] and they
[4741.0s] just poof out of existence.
[4743.0s] You don't see them. They teleport
[4745.0s] away from the scene.
[4747.0s] So that was Minlok
[4749.0s] three and four. So there's still one
[4751.0s] over Kel
[4753.0s] and it is Thaddeus's turn
[4755.0s] and he casts
[4757.0s] greater restoration on Kel again
[4759.0s] and says don't fuck it up this time.
[4761.0s] I'm back.
[4763.0s] And Kel is back
[4765.0s] and there's one Minlok
[4767.0s] over you. The rest have fled
[4769.0s] and Aven has fallen asleep
[4771.0s] because it's what you do on the job.
[4773.0s] I'm up I'm
[4775.0s] guessing. If you stand up
[4777.0s] Yep. Yep gonna stand up.
[4779.0s] I will hit the Minlok
[4781.0s] with
[4783.0s] poison spray. Sure.
[4785.0s] So
[4787.0s] I think you have to make a con save.
[4789.0s] That's a nine.
[4791.0s] Oh my goodness.
[4793.0s] I'm doing something. Strong roll.
[4797.0s] That is
[4799.0s] a four damage.
[4801.0s] Big hitter.
[4803.0s] And that was that Minlok
[4805.0s] who screeches
[4807.0s] in the face of this poison spray
[4809.0s] and crumples up
[4811.0s] like the centipede type creature
[4813.0s] that it is and it is dead.
[4815.0s] Oh I'm huge.
[4817.0s] So you are all standing over
[4819.0s] Aven who is sleeping now.
[4821.0s] Can I freeze her? Does she
[4823.0s] look peaceful? Well I'm gonna say
[4825.0s] you're not in combat directly now
[4827.0s] so you can do you guys can talk
[4829.0s] about what you want to do with her. That's why I
[4831.0s] ask can I freeze her?
[4833.0s] I draw a penis on her face
[4835.0s] with a magic marker. I'm okay with that.
[4837.0s] I hand you
[4839.0s] a sharpie and I be like
[4841.0s] let's do this for real.
[4843.0s] I put her hand in some
[4845.0s] warm water so she pees her pants.
[4849.0s] She pees her pants.
[4853.0s] You're not even gonna make her do a pee your
[4855.0s] pants roll? She's sleeping.
[4859.0s] I steal one of her bras
[4861.0s] and put it in the freezer.
[4865.0s] I don't know if anyone's gonna do
[4867.0s] anything productive but
[4869.0s] me and I are just playing sleepover pranks.
[4875.0s] I want to manipulate
[4877.0s] her weekend
[4879.0s] style.
[4883.0s] I don't know like get all her minions
[4885.0s] all confused and stuff.
[4887.0s] Nothing.
[4889.0s] Thaddeus pipes up.
[4891.0s] He's like so
[4893.0s] she's asleep now.
[4895.0s] What were you guys hoping to do? Is it like somewhere
[4897.0s] you can take her?
[4899.0s] What do you want us to do with her?
[4901.0s] We can just kill her.
[4903.0s] Oh my god. Is there no
[4905.0s] law? Is there no
[4907.0s] justice judicial system
[4909.0s] in the Fae?
[4911.0s] No there is.
[4913.0s] We're not really in the Fae.
[4915.0s] Not yet but you could
[4917.0s] take her.
[4919.0s] Okay she was just trying to kill
[4921.0s] us. The only difference now is she's
[4923.0s] asleep so I feel like it's okay.
[4925.0s] Okay you do it.
[4927.0s] Okay. I walk
[4929.0s] up to her. I try to
[4931.0s] feel around to see if I can steal anything
[4933.0s] first on her person.
[4935.0s] Send an investigation check.
[4937.0s] You feel up as sleeping.
[4941.0s] That's a 26.
[4943.0s] She has the clothing
[4945.0s] on her. She has a short
[4947.0s] bow and a vicious
[4949.0s] rapier.
[4951.0s] I will nab the vicious rapier.
[4953.0s] Anyone want it? Nah I'm good.
[4955.0s] I guess what's it do?
[4957.0s] Maybe it's real good Thea. Maybe you want it.
[4959.0s] Is it made of metal?
[4961.0s] It is a magic weapon.
[4963.0s] Yeah I'm not cool with it.
[4965.0s] It's 1d8 piercing damage and
[4967.0s] when you roll a 20
[4969.0s] on top of your
[4971.0s] crit the target takes an extra
[4973.0s] 2d6 piercing damage.
[4975.0s] Ooh.
[4977.0s] Fancy.
[4979.0s] I can't take it.
[4981.0s] I don't think it's
[4983.0s] better than my axe so I'll have it.
[4985.0s] Yeah me as well.
[4987.0s] We should probably just leave it here on the
[4989.0s] ground then.
[4991.0s] Or I can stab her with it. Yeah.
[4993.0s] Ooh. I want to stab her
[4995.0s] with that. Such vicious
[4997.0s] little creatures. I love it. I know.
[4999.0s] Make it look like an accident though.
[5001.0s] Hold on.
[5003.0s] Yeah I'm going to prop
[5005.0s] the sword in the dirt.
[5007.0s] Like she fell on it?
[5009.0s] Yeah.
[5011.0s] Totally accidental.
[5013.0s] People fall into rapiers all
[5015.0s] the time. Okay hold on.
[5017.0s] I'm not going to stop
[5019.0s] you from doing what you're doing but to the
[5021.0s] other three of you you're
[5023.0s] just going to
[5025.0s] whatever.
[5027.0s] I have already suggested they take her
[5029.0s] to the authorities
[5031.0s] and they're like
[5033.0s] nah we're going to kill her.
[5035.0s] Nah murder.
[5037.0s] Dia feels like her conscience
[5039.0s] is fairly clear.
[5041.0s] I refuse to do it myself.
[5043.0s] They have the opportunity.
[5045.0s] This is their
[5047.0s] grievance.
[5049.0s] Yeah I agree like they have like I
[5051.0s] wouldn't do it but they have history
[5053.0s] with her like I don't know their life.
[5055.0s] I like these
[5057.0s] rascally little
[5059.0s] things.
[5061.0s] Explain to me how you set up
[5063.0s] her presumed
[5065.0s] suicide.
[5067.0s] Alright so
[5069.0s] in the dirt I make a little hole
[5071.0s] and I kind of shove the rapier in there
[5073.0s] and then we
[5075.0s] I think Kel and I will like prop her
[5077.0s] up like she's standing up and then
[5079.0s] I'll stick my foot out and push her over.
[5081.0s] What if I'll take the bottom half
[5083.0s] you take the top half and then we could just kind of
[5085.0s] like fluff her like you're doing
[5087.0s] your sheets but like
[5089.0s] onto the
[5091.0s] rapier a couple times.
[5093.0s] Or we can kind of throw her sideways like we're
[5095.0s] throwing a toddler. We might have to like roll
[5097.0s] for that.
[5099.0s] Like we're throwing a toddler.
[5101.0s] How many toddlers do you guys
[5103.0s] throw?
[5105.0s] Just my nephew.
[5107.0s] Oh my god.
[5109.0s] Well I hope there's no rapiers involved
[5111.0s] but yeah you
[5113.0s] you flop her like a
[5115.0s] sheet or a toddler.
[5117.0s] And
[5119.0s] how many times do you do this?
[5123.0s] Twice.
[5125.0s] Twice? That's it?
[5127.0s] How is she propping for like the double tap
[5129.0s] rule is important. That's true.
[5131.0s] She tripped twice.
[5133.0s] On the
[5135.0s] first time
[5137.0s] you see her kind of stir
[5139.0s] and on the second time
[5141.0s] the light comes back to her
[5143.0s] eyes but then quickly leaves.
[5147.0s] She is
[5149.0s] double tap.
[5151.0s] Expelled from this world
[5153.0s] and in that instant
[5155.0s] there is a flood
[5157.0s] of light and color and
[5159.0s] force that comes from her
[5161.0s] body
[5163.0s] and
[5165.0s] Kel and Will
[5167.0s] and Thea and even a Nulara
[5169.0s] you feel that there is a much stronger
[5171.0s] magical presence
[5173.0s] in this forest now.
[5175.0s] I'm gonna kick some leaves over her body.
[5177.0s] Just cover it up a little bit.
[5181.0s] Doesn't case.
[5183.0s] Hope you wiped your fingerprints off the murder weapon
[5185.0s] or CSI Faye will be all
[5187.0s] over you. When you walk away
[5189.0s] make sure to take a big like fern
[5191.0s] branch and like sweep behind
[5193.0s] you so that your hoof prints
[5195.0s] don't show.
[5197.0s] Thaddeus speaks up. He's like well at least
[5199.0s] it's like the dragon uprising
[5201.0s] and I don't think anybody's gonna be
[5203.0s] looking for a fairy in the forest.
[5207.0s] Did you guys have a deal you wanted to settle
[5209.0s] up with these two?
[5211.0s] Can I have a, can I have an
[5213.0s] Antler please? Yes.
[5215.0s] I'm assuming I have some
[5217.0s] kind of like let's
[5219.0s] say satchel thing. I'll pull one out
[5221.0s] and I'll give it to Thea.
[5223.0s] Or if you're here just
[5225.0s] you want to grab my Antler and then just
[5227.0s] go at it? Yeah do you want to brush one?
[5229.0s] Well are you ready to shed that? Like is that just gonna come
[5231.0s] right off? I mean I can just
[5233.0s] rip it off. Oh god.
[5235.0s] What?
[5237.0s] I mean I think I shed
[5239.0s] mine like a couple months ago and it's
[5241.0s] only like a once a year thing. But you guys
[5243.0s] did help out a lot.
[5247.0s] Oh do you guys want wings also?
[5249.0s] We could probably get you some sweet pair of
[5251.0s] wings.
[5253.0s] Are you gonna pluck them off the fairy
[5255.0s] you just murdered?
[5257.0s] It's not a pluck, it's a simple
[5259.0s] tear. It's a little different.
[5261.0s] No, I will take
[5263.0s] a pre-shed
[5265.0s] one of your Antlers
[5267.0s] and no wings for me.
[5269.0s] Thank you. Yep, good on the wings.
[5271.0s] Yep, good for wings.
[5273.0s] Whatever floats your boat I guess.
[5275.0s] I'll hand them one of my Antlers.
[5277.0s] Thank you.
[5279.0s] I think.
[5281.0s] It's all been tainted by murder.
[5283.0s] It's been strange
[5285.0s] boys, it's been strange.
[5287.0s] Can you point us
[5289.0s] in the way of Althend?
[5291.0s] Oh.
[5293.0s] About that.
[5297.0s] I'm just fucking with you.
[5299.0s] We'd like to
[5301.0s] show them the way.
[5303.0s] You know, like good hosts.
[5305.0s] Of course, of course. Yeah you
[5307.0s] guys kind of
[5309.0s] I don't know how you guys are feeling but
[5311.0s] you know, you just kind of saunter back
[5313.0s] through the woods
[5315.0s] and you make it to the edge
[5317.0s] of Althend.
[5319.0s] And you see
[5321.0s] much like the other settlements that
[5323.0s] Flinthia, Nularaaa, and Thaddeus have seen
[5325.0s] very sparse
[5327.0s] buildings along the floor but
[5329.0s] up in the trees there is a
[5331.0s] very large tree village
[5333.0s] and there are actually elves up there
[5335.0s] walking that you can see, walking the planks
[5337.0s] and
[5339.0s] Flinthia, Nularaaa, and Thaddeus
[5341.0s] turn around to
[5343.0s] thank Will and Cal
[5345.0s] and they
[5347.0s] turn around and they
[5349.0s] look down and they remember
[5351.0s] meeting Will and Cal
[5353.0s] and they remember they
[5355.0s] needed help with something
[5357.0s] and then they remember showing up
[5359.0s] here and Thea has
[5361.0s] an Antler in hand.
[5363.0s] But no recollection?
[5365.0s] No recollection of anything else and Will and Cal
[5367.0s] are nowhere to be seen.
[5369.0s] So the terrible murdering
[5371.0s] never even happens.
[5373.0s] I feel so light
[5375.0s] like there's nothing weighing on me.
[5377.0s] Perfect, we don't even have to feel guilty.
[5379.0s] Guys, the weed I'm smoking is fantastic.
[5393.0s] Music in today's episode was by Kavin McLeod of Incompetech.filmmusic.io.
[5403.0s] Uh, hello?
[5405.0s] Normal conversation is hard.
[5409.0s] Sorry, I keep starting
[5411.0s] but then I hear someone else.
[5413.0s] Me too, I wish we had video going.
[5415.0s] It's so hard because I don't want to talk over my friends.
[5417.0s] Right?
[5419.0s] Okay, whatever, we're all individually recording.
[5421.0s] I'm just going to talk over all of you guys.
[5423.0s] Do it.
[5425.0s] I do, anyway.
[5427.0s] Listen, Tom, using your power of
[5429.0s] also being a DM.
[5431.0s] You turn that shit off.
[5433.0s] You're just a regular Joe in this game.
[5435.0s] I'm so smart.
[5437.0s] That is a bang on
[5439.0s] impression of me, by the way.
[5441.0s] Russ understands all about
[5443.0s] how noble
[5445.0s] it can be to run and hide during
[5447.0s] a battle.
[5449.0s] This is all
[5451.0s] Russ's character in the Patreon
[5453.0s] game is all
[5455.0s] all kinds of brave from a distance.
[5457.0s] I put my
[5459.0s] cloak on and go invisible and stand in a corner
[5461.0s] for the entire time.
[5463.0s] I don't know
[5465.0s] what you guys are talking about.
[5467.0s] That's it, I'm having
[5469.0s] a third beer.
[5471.0s] I wish I had a beer.
[5473.0s] I wish we could open
[5475.0s] our door.
[5477.0s] Why can't you open your beer?
[5479.0s] Oh, our setup is
[5481.0s] top notch.
[5483.0s] It's blocking the door.
[5485.0s] It's a fire hazard.
[5487.0s] What if you need to use a bath?
[5489.0s] You know what? Never mind.
[5491.0s] I take it back.
[5493.0s] We play this broadcast until one of them
[5495.0s] pees their pants.
[5497.0s] And we won't stop until
[5499.0s] one of them does.
[5501.0s] Dumbgeons and Dragons is a Dumb Dragons
[5503.0s] production.